Counting Stars
by emmywren
Summary: Mass Effect AU: A young girl is sent to Jump Zero after discovering she's one of few human biotics. Once there she takes the first steps on a journey that the galaxy will remember; The journey of Shepard from orphan, to troubled biotic teenager, to war hero, to commander and ultimately to the saviour of all the known universe. FemShep/Kaidan. M - language and intimacy.
1. Prologue - Earthborn

**_AN: _**_Decided to write a Mass Effect fan fic at last! Not sure if anyone will read it but I'll enjoy writing it nonetheless_

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**Prologue - Earthborn**

Amber remembered waking from her sleep to strange noises. Footsteps that were too loud and too fast, whimpers and grunts that sounded all wrong, followed by thuds and coughs. The little girl sat bolt upright in her bed, eyes locked on the bedroom door; something was very wrong. She listened for the reassuring voices of her parents but none came. There were more of the strange sounds before Daddy's voice faintly reached her ears.

"Please. I don't know what you want, but please, leave my family be" his voice was strained and muffled through the crack in her door, and there was enough of a strangeness about it for Amber to keep herself from running to her parent's room. Instead she crept down from her bed and crouched low to peer through the crack.

"Shut up, scum!" another voice boomed, followed by a crunching sound and a groan. She could see dark shapes moving around the hallway near her parent's room and a smaller shape that looked like it was kneeling on the ground. Amber froze in her crouched position, she could make out Daddy's face but it was covered in dark splotches, she wanted to run and hug him, for him to tell her that the nightmares would go away, but the scary men in strange clothes were standing between them. Why were these men in their house? Why was Mommy not here stroking her hair like she always did when something scary happened? What was that stuff on Daddy's face? His face had never looked like that before.

"Listen carefully, Doc. Unless you want your wife to lose one of her pretty eyes, you'll do exactly what I say" the man with the loud voice started moving, pacing the hall. When he moved to the side Amber caught sight of Mommy kneeling in the bedroom doorway, one of the scary men was standing right behind her, a large hand wrapped around her neck. As the leader of the strange men moved, her gaze shot up towards Amber's room and the frightened little girl couldn't hold still anymore. Torn between staying hidden and running to her Mommy, the little girl gasped as her foot knocked a pile of toys on the floor. Model spaceships rolled around her legs with noises that never felt so threatening until that moment.

"What was that?" One of the men came striding towards Amber and she frantically scrambled backwards, only causing more of her possessions to fall from shelves and roll around the floor. Light flooded the room as a large figure burst in; she screamed as he grabbed a fistful of her hair and dragged her across the floor. The pain in her scalp worsened as she writhed against his grip but she panicked and started flailing, anything to try and get free.

"Oh God, no! Amber!" she heard Daddy gasp while the man pulled her towards them.

"Amber, baby, it's alright!" Mommy cried, her voice saying the opposite of her words.

"Ah! Perfect" The man with the booming voice said again as they came to a stop, grip still painfully tight on her hair. "Pretty little girl doc, wouldn't want anything to happen to her now, would you?" his voice sounded almost happy and Amber didn't understand. She was frightened, confused and she wanted Mommy to hold her tight. She looked up to the faces she loved most in the world but couldn't find the solid reassurance she always found there, tears started to roll down her face and she whimpered "Mommy?"

As soon as the sound left her lips a new sort of pain erupted in her head. The man holding her had thrown her head into the wall and although this was the most pain she'd ever felt in her life, Amber's tears stopped immediately. Instead, pain and terror wreaked havoc on her shivering body.

"NO! Please! I'll do anything! Don't hurt her again" Daddy sobbed. The man with dark eyes spoke again, "Good. That wasn't so hard was it? Now, let's get started" he turned to another one of the figures in black and nodded.

Then everything happened so fast.

Daddy lurched around and threw himself at the man near Mommy, yelling at them to run. Everything started moving, hitting, grabbing. Amber was thrown to the side, hitting the railing above the stairs and crying out in pain. She couldn't see Mommy or Daddy any more, and then the booms started. She instinctively covered her ears and tears started streaming down her face, her whole body screamed at her to run and hide but her eyes still searched for her parents. She could only see a mass of bodies in the next room followed by more booms and screams. Something flew through the air and splattered on her face, it looked like red paint. One of the dark figures came near her and she obeyed her instincts in terror, scrambling away blindly.

Amber ended up in a cupboard somewhere shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. She curled up in the corner, ears covered, eyes shut tight, and the little girl prayed with all her might that God would make the monsters go away. Mommy said that God would make the monsters go away.

The next thing Amber saw after the noises had stopped and everything was silent for a long time, was a pair of kind brown eyes that came with a soft voice telling her everything was going to be okay. She'd been too frozen with terror to move but she locked onto those warm eyes and held their gaze like everything depended on it.

"I've got a survivor, sir" the noise of his soft voice made her whole body flinch but he followed it with soothing sounds as he crouched down to her level.

The young man stroked her arm and slowly eased her out of the cupboard with gentle reassurances, picking her up off the floor in one smooth motion. Some instinct told her the man wasn't dangerous so then other emotions took over, and in all her fear she needed someone to hold on to. The little girl clung to his neck and closed her eyes, but not before she saw the dark patches everywhere, the red paint that she knew wasn't really paint.

"Sir, I found her hiding upstairs, must be Dr Shepard's daughter. She's pretty shaken up"


	2. To Brain Camp

_**AN: **Oh my goodness, I can't believe people are following already, thank you so much! I didn't think anyone would read it!_

_On another note, I just want to clarify that although Kaidan's 3 years older than Shepard in the game, they're the same age here otherwise the timings wouldn't have worked, and hey, it's an Alernate Universe so it's all good.**  
**_

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**To Brain Camp  
**

Kaidan Alenko sighed as he splashed cold water on his face. Another restless night after a thundering migraine, no thanks to "the good commander" for pushing them all too hard again. Vyrnnus had to see how it affected them, especially the younger ones, that wide-eyed blonde girl, Ellie, had passed out in the middle of training yesterday and the turian just stood there shouting at her small motionless body. It wasn't right. He gritted his teeth as he looked in the mirror, a dark haired, dark eyed young man looked back in anger. He shook it off for now, hoping that the next few days would prove a little better. It was a relief to all of them that they kept the "irritatingly _human_" tradition of a weekend. Commander Vyrnnus obviously wasn't happy about it but the BAaT team were all human and didn't see why five days hard training a week shouldn't suffice.

Weekends were what made it all bearable, to the kids at the camp it was a chance to crawl out from behind their hardened, exhausted masks and simply relax.

When he headed down to breakfast Kaidan heard more chatter than usual from the cafeteria mingled with the delightful smell of bacon and eggs. Another reason weekends were worshiped here, cooked breakfast! Sure, it was rubbery and often cold by the time you got there but it beat the bland porridge and energy bars they endured every other day. He waited in line, grabbed his portion and then walked over to the usual table he and his friends shared.

"Alenkooo!" His best friend Tommy greeted him with a slap on the back, making the tray in his hand wobble, but he smiled and sat down with the usual company.

"Hey Kaidan" Her beautiful voice said quietly but confidently. It felt like his heart skipped a beat as he looked up at those wonderful hazel eyes and managed a "Hey Rahna" before quickly returning his attention to the scrambled eggs in front of him.

"Good morning Tommy, I hope you slept well! Yeah not bad, thanks for asking Kaidan" the redheaded boy next to him joked as he jostled Kaidan's arm. Although Tommy was the most animated person he knew, even in the worst times at brain camp, there was something different today and he seemed to be buzzing from an energy that wasn't just his biotics.

"What's got you so excited this morning?" Kaidan smiled, the infectious grin from his friend rubbing off on him.

The boy's bright green eyes flashed with mischief as he leaned in to the table so only the three of them could hear. Rahna leant forward as well, delighted with the pretence of a secret. Kaidan's mouth spread into a foolish grin, not necessarily because of Tommy's impending announcement, more to do with the fact that Rahna's face was a lot closer to his than it had been a minute ago.

"There's a new student arriving this weekend…" Tommy dragged out the sentence, his whispered Scottish accent lined with obvious anticipation "_…_and it's a _girl_"

Kaidan chuckled at his friend and pointedly said "Tom if it's a new student she's probably going to be, what, twelve?"

"That's the best part! She discovered her biotics late or something so she's actually our age!" He stuffed a few forkfuls of eggs into his mouth and somehow managed to keep the smug grin stuck to his bulging freckled cheeks.

"That is pretty exciting" Rahna mused over her toast, "we haven't had a new student in at least 6 months"

"Yeah, I wonder how long it'll take Vyrnnus to break her" Kaidan said darkly at his breakfast, which suddenly lost its appeal.

"Way to rain on my parade, grumpus" Tommy rolled his eyes and Rahna giggled before turning to Kaidan, kindness in her eyes.

"Hey, let's forget about him today. This new student's probably going to feel pretty scared coming here, especially if she's only just flared for the first time, we should try to make her feel settled…well, as much as we can"

That right there was why he adored Rahna Menderes, she always thought of others and would often point out the silver lining no one else could see. It obviously helped that Kaidan and Tommy took the brunt of Vyrnnus's anger during training to protect her gentleness, but he never regretted it for a second. Everyone at the camp loved her; she was like a glow they could all turn to when things seemed their darkest.

"Oh don't worry about that Rahna, she'll feel settled as soon as she lays eyes on the dashing Thomas James Samson" Tommy flexed his muscles, briefly flashing his biotics, and they all laughed warmly, feeling the weight of the previous week lift off their shoulders.  
Yes, Kaidan thought as he looked around his friends, the next few days would be much better. 

* * *

A little girl with bouncing blonde ringlets waddled over to her mother's waiting arms, giggling with delight as she kissed her cheek. Leaning against a nearby wall, a gangly teenager watched the scene with longing as a woman was greeted by her young family, feeling the familiar pangs of jealousy in her chest. She knew the family was probably very nice, and they probably loved each other very much, but those things made her instantly dislike the strangers before her.

"Miss Shepard?" A crisp voice sounded from across the spaceport, followed by the hasty clink-clink-clink of high heels on the marble floor. Having never been referred to as 'Miss Shepard' in her life, it took the teenager a while to drag her eyes away from the family to her left and instead focus on the tall well-groomed woman approaching her. She sighed and grabbed her duffle bag from the floor, slinging it over her shoulder as she ran a nervous hand through her hair.

"Ah, Miss Shepard? Nice to meet you, my name is Rebecca Wong, I work for Conatix Industries" the woman said, stretching a long thin hand out to her.

"Just call me Shepard, or Jane" she affirmed in a low voice, shaking the woman's lovely pale hand with her own rather shabby one.

"Oh?" Rebecca Wong questioned, obviously puzzled by the request, "Not Amber?" there was a pause as she studied the uncomfortable expression on the young girl's face, before continuing with, "Very well Miss Sh-I mean, uh, Jane. If you'd like to follow me, the shuttle's this way"

Jane jogged a few steps to keep up with the woman's long stride, how did she walk so fast in those heels? They looked awfully painful. She was suddenly very glad she'd never had to wear anything like it before.

"So, Jane, I think you're really going to like it at jump zero" the taller woman said with a cough, obviously trying to make conversation. They wove their way through the bustling crowd and Jane was distracted by all their faces, she loved watching people, even though sometimes her observations made her painfully aware of how empty her life felt. She was busy watching an argument unfold between a hurried business man and one of the spaceport's secretaries when she realised her companion was talking to her.

"Oh? Uh, good" she mumbled, her bleak experience of orphanages and children's homes she'd stayed in (and often been kicked out of) spoke against the woman's declaration and she knew that the programme she was being sent to would most likely be no different, but for now she just agreed.  
Rebecca Wong seemed satisfied and carried on in a shrill, enthusiastic voice "Oh yes, there's plenty of kids your age, all biotics like you. You'll fit right in!"  
Jane really wanted to point out that one, she hadn't felt like a 'kid' in a long time, and that two, she had never fit in anywhere and didn't think that was about to change, biotic or not. Instead she just nodded politely and hoped they would get to the shuttle soon. "So uh, can the other kids already do stuff?" she asked, trying to seem interested.

"With their biotics? Well, the ones your age can, most of them discovered their powers at about age 11, but it takes a long time to teach these things, especially when we know so little about biotics. I wouldn't worry though, your results from our preliminary tests are very promising, a lot of control for someone so new to it all" she smiled, the bright lights flashing over her tidy spectacles. To another kid her smile probably would have made them feel better, but Jane had seen hundreds of those smiles. They were a mixture of pity, condescension and an interest in something other than the person they were talking to. Jane didn't dislike Rebecca Wong, she seemed like a nice woman, and anything was better than being on the streets so she should be grateful to these people, but she just couldn't shake the anxiety crawling all over her skin.

They finally arrived at the shuttle and Jane felt surprisingly nauseous, she'd never flown before and should probably mention it, but she just took a deep breath and tried to ignore the hundreds of emotions rolling around her stomach. Maybe, just maybe this place would be different. Maybe she wouldn't be a 'nuisance' or a 'freak' to these people, they were like her after all.

Her biotics had freaked her out at first, who wouldn't freak out if they started glowing blue? But after the initial wave of shock had worn off, she found that she couldn't get enough of it. Even when the social workers started screaming and the other kids gaped at her with terrified faces, even when the men in suits showed up at the shelter telling her she had to come with them because she was dangerous, she couldn't help but feel excited about being something more. More than just a pesky good-for-nothing kid with no home, no family and no future. She had something special, and these people she was flying to were just like her. 'I guess things could be different this time' she mused to herself as the shuttle powered up. Yeah, things would be better there.

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_Just introducing things here, the next chapters will be longer and get things rolling. Also I love the fact that I was able to add 'grumpus' to the dictionary on Microsoft Word, made my day._


	3. Scruffy Hair and Migraines

**Scruffy Hair and Migraines**

Jane stared at her unfamiliar reflection in the mirror as the woman behind her unceremoniously lopped off large chunks of her thick chocolate coloured hair. Apparently the turian, an alien species Jane had never actually seen in person before, running the show decided it would be better if the camp felt more like a military establishment. That meant no hair covering the ears for the boys, and no longer than shoulder-length for the girls. Well, it could be worse; she could have some freaky cult-style shaved head.

When the woman had finished, Jane ran a hand through her new choppy hair. It stood out all over the place, and she felt oddly naked, but in a weird way it suited her. She was a haphazard batshit crazy biotic kid after all; maybe it wasn't so odd to have a haphazard batshit hairdo.

"Ah, well, your hair was so lovely before but rules are rules" the shrill, and increasingly annoying, voice of Rebecca Wong rang in Jane's ears. "Now that's out the way I'll show you around the camp, isn't this exciting dear?"

It sounded more like a statement than a question but Jane bobbed her head, trying to make the motion look as enthusiastic as possible, though it mostly just caused her wild new hair to flap around her face.

Her tour guide opened a set of double doors and Jane exhaled in awe as they walked into the next room. "This place is huge!" She gasped, genuinely excited, as she gazed at the enormous sports hall littered with different sets of equipment. Rebecca said something boring about biotics and training and Conatix Industries, but Jane was busy imagining various objects flying violently around the room in shiny mass effect fields. Before she could get too caught up though, she was ushered out of the hall and on to the next part of their speedy tour.

The other rooms were fairly unremarkable, all whitewashed walls with grey desks, typical gym equipment, a few laboratories and a large recreational area. Rebecca Wong reeled off descriptions of the daily activities and what each of the rooms were used for, making occasional comments about a few of the trainers and other staff. Jane was desperate to see some of the other students but so far they'd only passed the Conatix staff and the janitor.

They finally ended up in a medical facility, which was clinically white and grey like everything else she'd seen, and Jane felt a wave of nausea roll down her body. She'd always hated hospitals, and had enough experiences with them to last a lifetime. The large room was empty apart from a man in a long white coat, obviously the doctor, and a small blonde girl asleep in one of the cots.

"Dr Morgan? This is the new student" Rebecca announced excitedly but the tall dark-skinned man just shushed her, nodding his head at the sleeping figure across the room. "Oh sorry" she whispered obnoxiously, shoving Jane forwards, "She's here for her injections"

Jane froze. Nobody said anything about injections.

"Miss Shepard? My name's Dr Lee Morgan, the site physician. If you'd just like to sit yourself down, this won't take a second" the man's voice was smooth and reassuring but it did nothing for Jane's increasing panic. She _hated_ needles. She didn't even know why, pain didn't generally bother her that much, but _needles_. That was something else entirely.

She felt the warm electricity of her biotics crawling under her skin and she tried to suppress it as she sat herself down opposite the doctor. He rolled up her left sleeve and fumbled around in one of the cupboards above the desk.

_Shit shit shit!_ Jane cursed as the tell-tale blue aura began to form around her body.

"Miss Shepard?" Dr Morgan questioned, concern in his voice. She looked down at his hand and saw the prepared syringe nearing her arm. Her breath caught in her throat and the rippling dark energy around her exploded, throwing the doctor and his equipment against the desk and Rebecca Wong flailing into a nearby wall. A familiar mixture of nausea and dread assaulted her senses and she could feel herself sliding off the chair before everything went black.

* * *

Jane wrinkled her nose as a sharp pain blossomed across her forehead. She seemed to be lying on a bed, although she didn't remember getting in to a bed…

_Oh hell no. _She thought as she remembered what had happened, her eyes snapped open and she sat up in the cot. _There is no way in hell that I-_

"Ah Miss Shepard, don't worry, you just fainted…albeit biotically, gave Mrs Wong and I quite the surprise" Dr Morgan chuckled as he walked over to her cot. "I wouldn't try to get up if I were you, the force of your flare caused you to hit your head pretty hard. You've been out for about a day, probably concussion"

As soon as the words left his mouth Jane felt her insides rolling and decided to lie back down on the bed. This was _beyond_ embarrassing.

"I'm so sorry" She rushed, "I have this thing with needles, but it's never made me do anything like that before, usually I just feel sick" the doctor just smiled and waved off her apology with his hand.

"Trust me I've had a lot worse than that in here, young biotic patients aren't the most predictable. I'm just glad you didn't break anything. You can keep Ellie company as well" he nodded to the cot next to hers and Jane was horrified to remember they weren't alone.

"Hi" said a whispered voice amid a mass of white-blonde curls. The young girl looked up at Jane with wide green eyes and a timid expression.

"Hey, I'm Shepard, or Jane, whichever works best" Jane blurted as a weird greeting. Man, she really needed to work on her people skills. "So uh, what's up with you?"

Wrong question, the girl's eyes widened with horror and her cheeks turned bright red. "Just a training accident" she mumbled, lowering her head so the bright curls covered her face.

Damn, she really was no good with people. Take two, "Oh ok, so, where's home for you?"

Ellie smiled timidly at that, "I'm from a ranch in Colorado, it's really pretty, what about you?"

"Oh here and there, cities mainly, but yeah, America. I've never been to a ranch before, what's it like?" Jane smiled as the shy girl started to peer out from behind those blonde curls, telling her all about the trees and the animals at home. Maybe being stuck in here wouldn't be so bad after all. Ellie seemed sweet, although Jane worried about her being a biotic, it looked like she would snap in half if you blew on her too hard, let alone started throwing dark energy around. She suddenly felt very protective of the pale girl next to her, the way she talked about home with a sad longing in her voice. Not everyone came from a tough background, Jane realised, and it must be hard for the kids that were miles away from loving families.

Just as they started talking about Ellie's horses, a tall dark figure stumbled in to the med bay, walking straight over to Dr Morgan without a second glance at the girls.

"Ah, Kaidan. Migraine?" The doctor sighed and started rummaging around the cupboards on the far side of the room.

The boy called Kaidan stood with his shoulders hunched and his arms folded, scowling at the floor in obvious pain. Jane was instantly drawn to him, dark hair, milky brown skin taut over toned muscles. His face seemed handsome as well, or would be if it wasn't all scrunched up.

The doctor handed him some tablets and a glass of water which the boy gratefully tossed into his mouth. It was only then that he noticed the extra company, and seemed startled at the unfamiliar face looking at him.

His eyes met Jane's and it felt as though time flew past her. Suddenly she was a little girl again. Those amber brown eyes, they looked just like _his_. Just like the man who found her the night her parents died. They were beautiful.

She shook her head and looked away awkwardly when she realised she'd been staring at him. The dark handsome figure shuffled his feet and mumbled "Thanks doc" before exiting as quickly as he entered.

"Don't mind Kaidan" Dr Morgan said fondly "he's quiet sometimes because of the migraines"

"Why does he get migraines?" Jane asked, suddenly wanting to learn as much as she could about this handsome new addition to her memory.

"He's an L2, the implant before yours. It seems to have some nasty side effects on the biotics who have it but we're still studying the consequences. Though, Kaidan does appear to be one of the lucky ones, only getting bad headaches every so often."

Huh, that must suck. Jane had only been given her implant a week ago and she remembered the awful headaches she'd had the day after, she couldn't imagine having that all the time. She found her thoughts lingering on those amazing amber eyes.

Dr Morgan cleared his throat and interrupted her pleasant musings, "Well girls, it's passed dinner time so I'll have some trays sent up" he walked over to a screen near the door and pressed a few buttons, "Clara, could I have Elinor Jones' and Amber Shepard's meals sent up to the med bay? Thanks"

"Please, just call me Jane, Dr Morgan" the older girl said uncomfortably, she hadn't been called by her first name for a long time and it still brought painful memories to the surface. She'd rather they stayed buried far behind her protective mental barriers with the rest of her past.

"No problem, my brother prefers to be called by his middle name as well; I guess it's just down to personal taste, eh?"

Jane liked Dr Morgan, as well as him not questioning her choice of name, he was laid back and there was a kindness in his eyes that she hadn't seen for a long time. He also seemed remarkably unfazed by biotics. Most people Jane had encountered, even the Conatix Industries staff she'd met, all treated her like a dangerous animal that might attack them in a savage frenzy any second. To the doc it was just another part of his day.

They finished their dinner and the doctor checked them over one more time before sending them off to bed.

Ellie was tiny when she was stood up, a full head shorter than Jane, but when she got talking it made up for what she was lacking in height or build. She chirped away in her soft voice about her home, family, friends, about some of the other kids at brain camp. Jane listened as they walked toward the dorms and smiled, she was growing fond of the little bundle of blonde curls. Ellie's freckled face lit up as Jane checked her omni-tool and realised they'd be bunking in the same room.

"I wondered why they never replaced my old bunk-mate after she was sent home!" she chattered, "I thought it was because no one liked me or something, but this is great! Do you think we'll be in the same class? Well I guess it depends on what _he_ thinks of you tomorrow"

"Who's 'he'? And what do you mean tomorrow?" Jane asked, suddenly anxious.

"Commander Vyrnnus, oh Jane he's just horrible. Well everyone's separated into classes when they arrive, usually it's on age but with you it'll be different because you're a late bloomer, Vyrnnus will want to see what your powers are like"

"A late bloomer huh?" Jane chuckled and raised an eyebrow.

Ellie blushed and smiled "Sorry, gardening analogy, I used to love the flowers at home. The late ones always seemed the prettiest, and you're pretty, just made the connection…so, uh, we should get to bed, long day tomorrow! Oh! Wait; let me show you a picture of Stormy, my horse…" She trailed off and began flicking through photos on her datapad. Jane smiled to herself as she realised she'd just made one of the first friends she'd ever had, and it had been so easy. Maybe the loving girl was the cause of that. Still, it gave her hope that however challenging all this biotic stuff was, she was already happier here than she had been anywhere else.

* * *

Kaidan sighed as the remnants of his migraine faded away; finally the tablets were sinking in. As he stared at the ceiling above his bed he couldn't help but think about the girl from the med bay earlier. He figured she was the new student as he didn't recognise her, but why was she in the med bay? He thought about her pretty face, bright blue eyes that contrasted with her tanned skin. Shoulder length hair that had stuck out in a hundred directions, she must have just had the hair cut they'd all hated on arrival, but the brown mess had framed her face and made her look really adorable. Suddenly worried for her health he mused over all the different explanations before reminding himself that he shouldn't be obsessing over a complete stranger and that he hadn't even said hello to her.

He settled in to bed, hoping that he could meet her properly tomorrow. His dreams that night started with Rahna, as usual, but ended up morphing into blue skies, scruffy hair and laughter.


	4. Making Friends

_**AN:** Thank you so much for the two lovely reviews on the last chapter and all the new views and followers! I'm so happy that people other than me are enjoying this!  
Brace yourselves. The fluff is about to begin haha._

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**Making Friends**

Amber Jane Shepard was the talk of brain camp at breakfast the next morning.

Kaidan thought Tommy's eyes would actually pop out of his skull any moment.  
"Oh would you just_ look_? She's the finest lass I ever laid eyes on. Kaidan, man, hold me back or I'm gonna do something embarrassing like fall head over heels in love" the Scotsman made a swooning motion with his arms, causing their table to burst into fits of laughter as he crossed his eyes and clasped his hands together cooing "I must be dreaming!" Ah Tommy, forever the joker. But Kaidan's friend wasn't the only one making eyes at the newcomer, most of the boys in the cafeteria were glancing over to her table in between mouthfuls of porridge, some more obviously than others. Even the girls were chatting about her "gorgeous tan" and envious figure. Others weren't quite so kind, probably out of jealousy and Kaidan almost felt his fists clench when he heard some of the remarks.

"I heard she's just some street rat who only discovered her biotics a week ago"

"A _week_ ago? Training's going to be hilarious! Vyrnnus will probably break her arm or something, better her than me"

His attention was brought back to the table when Rahna pitched in, "Looks like she's already made friends with Ellie, I'm so glad the little girl found someone to open up to, she's always been quiet as a mouse whenever I've tried"  
Kaidan smiled at Rahna, the beautiful dark haired girl that filled his thoughts most of the time. Always so kind and caring, so gentle. If only he could pluck up the courage to make a move, he'd always been dreadful with girls and these days he just opted for silent unrequited love.

"I wonder what Vyrnnus will do, they usually shove the youngsters in one class but she's got to be at least 15, he'll probably set up some kind of test" he mused, hoping it wouldn't be something too harsh.

"Pfft the old turian poofter can try, but don't worry! I'll protect you my angel!" Tommy said loudly, raising his head above Kaidan's to get a better view of the new student.

"You're so full of it Samson" Rahna laughed, punching him in the arm lightly, "I'll bet she's not a damsel in distress when it comes to biotics"

"What makes you say that?" Kaidan asked, glancing over to Ellie and her infamous companion. She was quite thin and dainty, though not shapeless; her uniform clung to gentle womanly curves that Kaidan found his eyes lingering on for slightly longer than necessary. "She doesn't look that threatening"

"Well that's because _I'm_ not looking at her bum and breasts like you two probably are" she sighed, Kaidan was about to protest but she continued, "can't you see the scars on her hands, arms and neck? She's been in a fair few fights from the looks of those"

"Wow, how did you notice that?" Kaidan asked, now spotting a few marks that were barely visible from this distance. Before he got his answer though the shrill ringing of the bell filled the cafeteria, summoning them to the first training session of the day. They all groaned heavily as they made their way to the hall.

Tommy, Rahna and Kaidan filed through the double doors alongside the other 14-16 year olds where a grim faced turian awaited them, slowly pacing back and forth on an exercise block.

He waited until they were all still, glaring at them individually, before his gritty voice filled the room.

"I hear we have a latecomer in our midst" he drew out the last syllable like a hiss, his dark almost-black 'lips' relishing in the sound, "Step up onto the block, Shepard" he barked.

Oh God, Kaidan hoped this poor girl was ready for whatever the bastard had in store. The group of human bodies parted for Shepard as she made her way to the front, a blank expression on her face, like she wasn't really there. She stepped up onto the makeshift stage so she was standing opposite Vyrnnus. Her hands smartly at her sides, legs pressed together. Kaidan guessed she could recognise a military man (well, alien) when she saw one and adjusted her posture accordingly.

The turian seemed anything but appeased.

"You have only just discovered your biotics, correct?"

"Yes, sir" she declared, using the same tone she was addressed with. Her voice was by no means girly or light like Rahna's but Kaidan noted that there was something undeniably attractive about the smooth sound.

"Then you are weak, there is no denying. You wasted at least five years being a pathetically ordinary human while you should have been training. It's now my job to make up for your weakness and bring you up to speed." The turian was barely standing half a metre away from her, making full use of his towering height as he spat each word in the face of the small human before him.

"The rest of you will observe the runt as a reminder of your own failings"

Vyrnnus then began to move in slow circles around Shepard, clearly trying to make her nervous. As he made a second lap in his pacing, his voice resumed its guttural sounds, "We will begin with something simple. Flare."

Shepard didn't move a muscle but her whole frame began to glow with the blue tendrils of biotics. Even from where he was standing Kaidan could feel his own biotics simmer in response to hers. Damn she was powerful.

Vyrnnus grunted in acknowledgement then biotically pulled a 40kg kettlebell over to the block before throwing it at Shepard's feet. "Lift it"

The weight was steadily up in the air at eyelevel before he'd even finished speaking. Not bad for someone new to biotics. Kaidan absentmindedly wondered what bioamp they'd given her.

"Throw it" the next order came as clear and abrupt as the last two and was executed similarly. The kettlebell landed with a loud crash across the length of the hall, causing a large crate of equipment to topple over. Seeing the flash of a smirk on Shepard's face made Kaidan suspect she'd done that on purpose.

More orders came one by one. Vyrnnus was throwing things at her, ordering her to deflect or shield herself. The objects became heavier and more dangerous with each successful counter-throw and Kaidan could see she was starting to falter. Any new biotic would be on their knees by now, hell even some of his fellow class mates would be on their knees, but she wouldn't give up. Some of the students had to leap out of the way as more and more things came crashing all around them. Vyrnnus was clearly frustrated at the fact that she hadn't failed yet and launched a whole crate in her direction. The class gasped and although she tried, Shepard couldn't deflect something that big. It knocked her clean off the stage and she flew into the back wall with a sickening thud. Terrified of the turian commander, the other student's simply watched as she slumped to the floor, blood pouring out of her nose. Kaidan could feel Tommy itching to do the same as him, but they knew if they ran to her aid Vyrnnus would most likely hurt her more. Such was his sick sense of humour.

"Let this display be a reminder to you that you are weak. Humans are no match for their better races. Don't forget it." The commander snarled at the students before dismissing them and calmly walking past Shepard's lifeless body. If turian's could sneer, Kaidan could have sworn he just did. That meant one thing and one thing only, Shepard was now on Vyrnnus' blacklist like he was. Anyone who opposed him, or simply did more than he expected of them, became an instant threat. _That's the way bullies operate_, Kaidan thought bitterly.

As soon as he was out of sight, the three friends rushed over to the lifeless girl, her uniform now soaked with the blood gushing from her nose. Tommy and Kaidan grabbed an arm each and between them they carried her to the infirmary, Rahna trying to staunch the flow of blood as they went. They wordlessly laid her down on one of the cots and Dr Morgan just sighed, grabbing some gauze and an ointment from a nearby cupboard. No one spoke. These incidents were pretty much daily at brain camp and it wasn't surprising that Shepard's first training session had ended up here. However, it was surprising that she'd lasted as long as she had, most new biotics ended up breaking their own limbs or creating random singularities inside their bodies, they couldn't usually keep the powers under control like she had, let alone doing anything productive with them.

In the bright lights of the med bay Kaidan could see the scars Rahna had been talking about earlier. All over her bronze skin Shepard had tiny white marks, most around her knuckles and one disturbing thin line across the right side of her throat. What kind of life did this girl go through before coming here? It ignited his deeply embedded anger at the turian commander. How dare he take out his sick need for power on a bunch of kids, on this young girl? His eyes grew dark as he stood protectively over the cot.

"Well the nosebleed has stopped and there doesn't appear to be any other significant damage, she'll have a headache and the standard after effects of overusing biotics but I'm sure one of you can look after her for the rest of the day? Make sure she feels settled?" Dr Morgan spoke wearily as he dabbed ointment on Shepard's nose and the back of her head.

Tommy's eyes lit up but Rahna dashed his hopes quickly "I would but we've got Biotic Psychological Prep next Tommy and you know what the professor is like" Tommy began to protest but the doctor had already turned his attention to Kaidan.

"I do know what the professor is like, you two had better get down there. What about you Kaidan?"

He felt the blood rush to his face. Alone, with a girl he'd never technically met before, for a whole day. There was no way he wouldn't screw this up. "Well I've got Health and Cookery next and then Physical for the rest of the day so I guess I could…"

"That's settled then. Samson, Menderes, off you go"

Tommy gave him an expression that could only be described as a whiny pout as he left and Rahna smiled at him whispering, "Maybe we'll catch up with you after psych" which made his stomach do a small somersault. Then he was alone, desperately wishing he had Tommy's confidence and humour or Rahna's gentleness and compassion.

Kaidan slumped down in the chair next to the cot as Dr Morgan turned back to his work and it wasn't long before the girl next to him stirred into consciousness.  
"Ow, fuck!" she groaned, Kaidan couldn't help but smile at the indecent language coming from such a delicate looking mouth. "Shit, sorry" she tried to correct upon noticing she had company.

"I'm guessing you're not feeling too rosy?" he chuckled as she gingerly felt the back of her head. Her eyes widened slightly when she realised who'd addressed her and she mumbled something inaudible as a response.

"I'm Kaidan Alenko by the way, sorry about yesterday I should have introduced myself" he held out a hand to her and she took it tentatively in hers. "Jane, Jane Shepard" she replied, her small, soft fingers rippling with biotics. Their touch was brief but it was still enough to send goosebumps along Kaidan's forearms.

"How are you feeling? You took it pretty rough from Vyrnnus but doc says you'll live" he realised he was still smiling like an idiot and tried to adapt a more normal expression. Why were girls so damn difficult to talk to? It was bad enough seeing one girl that made his heart tremble every day, now there were apparently two. Bloody hell, this was weird and confusing already. Did this girl know what she was doing to him?

As her wintry blue eyes bore into his with a slight wrinkle of her nose he realised she definitely didn't know what it was doing to him, as her intense staring was sending the butterflies in his stomach even further into turmoil. They both looked away awkwardly and she mumbled "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare. It's just…you remind me of someone I used to know"

Jane swung her legs off the cot and tried to stand up, obviously too quickly as she wobbled precariously. She instinctively put an arm out to steady herself and it found its way to Kaidan's shoulder.

"Careful. I've been tasked with making sure you take it easy today, so there's no hurry" Kaidan said softly and she looked sheepish, pulling her hand away from him.

"Oh there's no need, I think I'm fine…do you know which class is next?" She looked like she wasn't used to people taking care of her and her feet shuffled awkwardly towards the door.

"Well first things first we should probably change your top" he nodded to her and then realised what he'd said as an expression of horror bloomed over her face, "I mean _you_ change your top, obviously, I didn't mean…Uh…This way" Yep. Screw up number 1. Good one, Kaidan.

He managed to get a constant, if slightly clumsy, conversation going as they made their way towards the dorms. Jane was quite reserved about her past and from what little she'd revealed, he could understand why. An orphan at age 6, the authorities said her father had been a scientist in the Alliance studying the effects of eezo and she figured that was what had given her the biotics. Then ignored and thrown around the system for ten years until Conatix found her. No friends, no family, not anything remotely close. Kaidan had never heard the corporation being talked about in a positive way before. To the rest of the kids here, Conatix Industries were the people who dragged them away from their parents and threw them into this hell. To Jane Shepard, they were her saviours. Who would have thought?

She quickly directed the conversation to him and seemed genuinely interested in everything he said. Her bright eyes flashed over his features every so often as he spoke, as if yearning for more information. She asked about his interest in tech and found they had a common pastime, as a kid with nothing to do outside of school she loved to tinker with omni-tools and all sorts of junk she found. Nothing special, but it was enough to get their conversation going and they ended up getting animated about all sorts of techy nonsense.

By the time they arrived at her dorm the two teenagers were laughing together, still sending embarrassed sideways glances toward each other, and she excused herself to change.

"Alenko! We've been looking all over for you! You'd better not have lost the love of my life" a familiar voice bounded down the hall and Kaidan gave his best friend a manly hug and Rahna an awkward one-armed embrace.

"Don't worry Samson she's just getting changed…and NO you're not going in her room" he wrestled the taller boy away from the door and Rahna laughed as they continued to beat each other up.

"How is she Kaidan?"

"She was pretty unsteady for-" he took an elbow to the stomach before continuing with, "-the first ten minutes, but then she seemed-FUCK, SAMSON NOT THE HAIR" the boys laughed and growled at each other before they realised that Jane was also giggling at them. Kaidan and Tommy stopped brawling and both stood to attention as if a commanding officer had just walked into the room. The dark haired boy tried desperately to fix the dishevelled mop on his head while the other picked up one of Jane's hands and kissed it gently.

"Thomas James Samson, at your service, but that's just Tommy to you"

Jane looked utterly bewildered as he winked and dropped her hand but was saved by a gentle hug from the other young woman in the corridor.

"Ignore the show-off, you'll get used to it. I'm Rahna Menderes, it's lovely to meet you" she smiled at Jane welcomingly and the young girl seemed completely embarrassed by all the sudden attention but thanked them quietly, eyes flickering to Kaidan for a split second. He smiled reassuringly and they all decided to make their way to the cafeteria for lunch. Tommy making uncomfortable, but harmless flirtatious comments and Rahna chastising him while building small talk with Jane. This was definitely one of the best days Kaidan had ever had in this hell hole of a camp and he hoped with all his heart that it wouldn't end.


	5. Unexpected Results

_**AN:** Sorry about the wait for this chapter, I got a bit stuck with real life but I've got loads of ideas so hopefully things will flow again. Thank you again to all the people reading this, it makes me so happy!_

* * *

**Unexpected Results**

Jane settled into her new life with relative ease over the next few weeks. Although Commander Vyrnnus would never say it, biotics came naturally to her and she found herself frequently on the receiving end of his punishments because she didn't fail his tasks very often. Of course, she was also punished for when she did fail as well, so it was an easy arrangement to adjust to if you didn't mind getting the shit beaten out of you every other day. Jane relished the fact that she frustrated him though and would often annoy the turian on purpose, despite the unpleasant consequences. As a result she'd gained a reputation around Gagarin Station as being completely crazy and reckless, but there were a few people who didn't seem to mind.

Her group of friends felt like the first family she'd ever known and it made the bad times worth fighting through. Rahna, she'd discovered, was from a rich Turkish family, explaining her beautiful foreign complexion and soft jet black hair. She was kind and gentle but didn't shy away from the role of a mother-hen around the camp. She'd often be found surrounded by the younger kids, comforting them and tending to their bruises. In their friendship group she was usually the voice of stability, reason, and chastising Tommy for his unruly behaviour. Those two had a playful brother-sister relationship that was amusing to watch given their size difference.

Tommy was as boisterous in form as he was in character, always excited about something and constantly buzzing with biotics. Being around him was like waiting for a thunderstorm, static filled the air from his endless energy. Jane had grown very fond of him eventually, though at first his flamboyant advances had terrified her. She'd gradually learned that Tommy had a heart of gold and didn't mean any harm by the things he said, so Jane ultimately found she didn't mind the playful banter, and was slowly learning to join in.

Ellie had also come out of her shell and had really become part of the group. Rahna instantly scooped her up under those motherly wings and Ellie absolutely adored her. Even Tommy wasn't so brash around her; she was like a little bird that they all felt protective of. She would often chatter away about meaningless things while Rahna braided her pearly hair and Jane would just sit and smile peacefully, listening to the little girl's stories.

Then there was Kaidan. Handsome, caring, wonderful Kaidan whom she absolutely adored. She saw him first and foremost as a friend; he listened to her like no one else did, they got lost in silly conversations about gadgets and he often tried to protect her when she got a little too reckless around Vyrnnus. However there was a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that wouldn't go away; a yearning for him to see her as more than a friend. When they talked she wanted to be close to him, to feel the familiar heat of his biotics on her skin that ignited hers whenever they touched.

Jane shook her head before her thoughts ran away with her as they usually did. She saw the way he looked at Rahna and understood, because it was the way she always looked at him. The reckless side of her wanted to charge in, biotics on fire, grab his hand and run into the sunset without looking back. The rest of her however, knew her new family unit was too precious and fragile to survive the complicated workings of her heart. So she kept it to herself, savouring the time they spent together as friends and stealing glances at him when no one else was watching.

She stole one of those glances now as the five of them snuck down one of the small corridors that was obviously out of bounds to students. It was the weekend and Tommy had decided they were going to have some 'real' fun for once. Jane wasn't entirely sure what he meant by it but would never pass up a chance to break the rules and felt giddy with excitement as they crept around in silence. Kaidan and Rahna had protested against the idea, pointing out that being caught out of bounds would result in severe punishment, but curiosity got the better of them. When they arrived at their destination they all breathed a sigh, Ellie breathed a squeak. It was a small room, empty with the exception of a few crates, but the remarkable thing about it was the floor length window. The five friends all stared at the stars in silence; in all the months they'd been on the station they'd seldom seen any view of the outside world.

"This is amazing Tommy!" Jane breathed, flashing him a smile, "Though I don't want to know how you found it"

He just laughed and tapped his nose knowingly, "I never reveal my secrets Munchkin"

She rolled her eyes as he sent one of his cheeky winks her way.

The little room with the window became a hideout of sorts. They all became experts at avoiding the security cameras and making their way there completely undetected. Many a weekend was spent with all of them bundled in the room, playing cards, emailing family or watching vid clips Kaidan managed to get access to with his hacking abilities.

One Saturday afternoon the gang sat curled up amid blankets and pillows as they shared competitive glances over hands of cards.

"Bullshit" Tommy said warily, trying to determine little Ellie's expression as she placed a card face down on the pile in the middle, claiming it to be a 5 of hearts. A delighted grin spread across her freckled cheeks and the redheaded boy groaned. "Again!? How can such a timid little thing be so good at lying? Abuse of trust!" He exclaimed as he gathered all the cards into his hands.

"Don't judge a book by its cover Samson" Ellie giggled, her hand of cards growing smaller by the minute.

A loud beep from Jane's pocket interrupted their game. "Ah shit, sorry guys, I've got a lab session" she sighed, getting to her feet reluctantly.

"On a Saturday? But we only had them on Wednesday" Rahna looked at her with a concerned expression.

"Yeah apparently there's some abnormality in my brain activity that they want to monitor, it's probably called turian-regularly-beating-the-shit-out-of-you syndrome" she grimaced as she shrugged her hoody over her head.

From behind the folds of material Jane could just about hear Kaidan's husky voice saying, "I really hope everything's alright" and it sent an involuntary shiver down her spine.

She grabbed her stuff and bid farewell to her friends before silently creeping through the restricted corridors toward the labs. Being a new 'sub species' of human, all the kids at brain camp had weekly appointments where people in lab coats prodded and poked them for a whole hour. Jane had quickly decided she hated scientists. They were nothing like Dr Morgan who gently tended to their wounds on a regular basis; these condescending individuals were rude and treated the students like lab rats.

Her nostrils flared with distaste as she walked into the bright clinical room. One of the scientists, a blonde woman with sharp features, nodded at her when she walked in and began preparing the monitoring equipment.

"So what's up with my brain doc?" Jane said cheerfully as she slumped into her regular chair. She loved making these sorts of comments that annoyed the scientists and earned her glares with narrowed eyes.

The woman didn't say anything but began sticking cold little circles to Jane's forehead and neck. An icy tingling erupted all over her skin as usual and her biotics flared in response. Several screens around the room lit up and the scientist paid close attention to them, rapidly typing things into her datapad.

"Subject Two-Oh-Four showing signs of abnormal brain activity consistent with spikes in biotic ability." The woman's cool, crisp voice addressed no one in particular; probably the one-way mirror on the opposite wall. "Despite having no bio-amp installed, subject's biotic abilities continue to excel with the L3 implant alone. Recommend testing one of the newer amps to measure potential capability."

It all sounded pretty boring to Jane. From what she'd heard, having an amp just meant you could last longer without needing to top up on energy bars. She'd been expecting them to stick something in her head sooner or later.

"Miss Shepard, please perform a simple mnemonic on the ball in front of you" her tone was annoying and indifferent. Jane lifted the small rubber ball in the air and then placed it back on the desk with uninterested ease. Several machines beeped and the woman frowned.

"Unusually high spikes in neural activity after a simple biotic performance…Subject's nervous system appears to be much more resilient than average…High output with extremely low input…Undoubtedly the most perfect of any system we've seen before."

The woman made these intermittent comments as she floated from one screen to the next, the curiosity in her voice increasing with each observation. There was a long silence while the skinny scientist tapped on the data pad, muttering inaudible remarks every so often. Jane just sat and daydreamed about Kaidan's face, Kaidan's voice….and possibly Kaidan's very fine ass.

"On closer examination of Subject Two-Oh-Four's data I can conclude that this does not appear to be the work of Mother Nature alone. Several factors indicate prenatal scientific intervention as previously suspected."

Jane was pulled out of her daydreaming at that point, prenatal scientific intervention? She'd never really thought about how she'd been given her biotics. The Conatix staff had said her father was an Alliance scientist with several projects on eezo, which seemed like enough of an explanation. It had been an accident like all the other kids here, hadn't it?

"Miss Shepard?" The scientist repeated and Jane realised the woman had asked her to perform another mnemonic.

"Yeah, sorry" she mumbled before waving her hand at the ball. It exploded in a rubbery mess and more of the machines beeped threateningly.

"Fascinating" the blonde woman breathed as her eyes darted over the lines and numbers that Jane didn't understand. It was just a normal warp, what was so interesting? The whole session had seemed very odd, as far as Jane was concerned, her biotics were completely normal. Sure she was good at it but she still got tired like everyone else. Everyone waited a few weeks for a bio-amp didn't they?

The woman asked her to do more unremarkable things and Jane was getting increasingly irritated at what a waste of time this was.

"Proceeding to install the prototype Olympus IV bio-amp as agreed"

The woman approached her with a plain charcoal coloured box and indicated that she should lower her head. Jane felt her hair scraped away from her face by gloved hands followed by a pinch and an immediate loss of feeling at the base of her skull.

The next thing Jane felt could only be described as a violent explosion. Her whole body felt like it was being ripped apart from the inside and her face contorted into a disturbing silent scream. She couldn't see beyond the world of her own agony but was mildly aware of things crashing into her body, an intense burning sensation clawing at her skull and flashing lights that were far too bright through her tightly closed eyelids. The pain reached its climax and something inside her head snapped. A deathly silence followed while consciousness slipped away from her.

"Jane?"

Breathing. Slowly breathing. Warmth and pressure on her hands.

"Can you hear me Jane?"

Noises too loud. Foggy awareness of other people. Pain. Lots of pain. Something smooth trailing along her forehead. Something sharp embedded in the crease of her elbow.

Jane opened her eyes slowly, blinking in the bright lights around her. The ceiling wasn't familiar, not the medbay. She was hurt though, so where was she?

The voice, she knew she liked that voice but couldn't immediately picture the face that went with it. Her blue eyes darted around her surroundings, the slight movement causing her head to shift and fresh pain to blossom across the back of her skull. She winced and someone's hand pressed against her forehead, preventing further movement.

"Don't try to move too much" She placed the voice as Doctor Morgan's and when the hand disappeared from her forehead she saw other faces there as well.

"Lass, you are without doubt the most unlucky person I have ever met" Jane saw Tommy grinning at her to the right, Rahna and Ellie's kind but worried expressions peering from behind his arm. She looked to the left and smiled when her eyes met those autumnal brown ones.

"Hey there" Kaidan gave her a crooked smile that made her heart stop. She realised he was also holding one of her hands; the other was being clung to by an anxious Ellie Jones.

"What did I do?" she croaked, trying to measure the extent of her injuries. It felt like the base of her skull had been on fire and everywhere else just ached. Not too bad then, mainly bruising and possibly a burn.

"Damn near blew up the whole facility that's what" Tommy chuckled punching her on the arm, to which she gave a pained grimace.

"Bullshit" she dismissed, but Dr Morgan walked over to the end of her bed and confirmed her friend's wild statement. "Mr Samson is right on this occasion Shepard. Apparently you were scheduled to trial your first bio-amp but the result was completely unexpected. You caused a massive power fluctuation throughout the station and quite a few systems momentarily went offline. We're lucky it was nothing critical, and you, Jane, are lucky to be in one piece." He smiled at her with his usual weary expression; it was as though nothing ever surprised him.

"There were alarms and everything, you crazy lass!" Tommy sounded much more excited about it than anyone else and feeling his familiar whirring biotics made Jane smile. She sat up in her bed, feeling her body protest with dull aches, and saw that they were in one of the labs instead of the med bay, judging by what they'd told her she guessed they'd probably been monitoring her in here.

"Wait, you're saying she's never had a bio-amp before now?" Kaidan was talking to the doctor with an incredulous look on his face.

"Isn't that normal?" Jane asked, suddenly worried. She felt a little uncomfortable with all the people now staring at her, completely shocked.

"All that…that's just you _without_ an amp?" Rahna gasped and Jane thought back to training, she didn't think she'd done anything that spectacular, maybe above average but she didn't have anything like Kaidan's control or Tommy's strength.

"It's far from normal. Most of the students have their amps inserted shortly after they arrive. After being assessed, the Conatix scientists will decide on which amp's specialities will suit that particular student's biotic 'style', for want of a better word" Dr Morgan casually informed her as he shuffled through some papers as usual, his hands were never idle and she got the impression that he hated sitting still for too long. "It seems they wanted to see how far you could go without needing one, I have to say I've never seen any biotics quite like yours Shepard"

"But what happened, why did I blow up?" She asked, gently feeling the back of her head with her fingertips, there was a bandage strapped up under her hair and the skin felt hot and blistered. Definitely a nasty burn.

"Now that, I don't know. Maybe they were testing a new amp on you and it disagreed with your biotics" the doctor shrugged and Jane saw Kaidan's face morph into a frown from the corner of her eye.

Dr Morgan dismissed them all after deciding Jane was fine and they made their way to the cafeteria for dinner. Tommy kept ranting about how exciting Jane's 'explosion' was and the other girls chatted amongst themselves about something to do with bio-amps. Kaidan was silent for a lot of the time and when Jane asked what was wrong he just shrugged off her questions but she could tell something was eating away at him.

"Kaidan you know it's not good to keep things bottled up, out with it" she said, getting impatient with his moody responses. He stopped walking and turned to her, an unpleasant scowl distorting his handsome features.

"It just makes me sick. All of this. As if Vyrnnus wasn't bad enough, now they're testing their new bio-amps on students?" Jane could feel his biotics angrily vibrating at the edge of her awareness and tried to supress her own as they responded excitedly. The burned skin at the back of her neck raged as the energy flickered.

He turned his head to the side so he wasn't looking at her and continued irritably, "The others can just shrug it off or joke about it, I know that's just how they cope but I can't. Sorry if that annoys you"

At first Jane felt defensive but the most part of her knew his anger wasn't really directed at her so she internally brushed off any hurt. The others hadn't noticed the fact that they'd stopped and had carried on to dinner so they were alone in the corridor.

"It doesn't annoy me; it pisses me off as well. Just…don't let it eat away at you. I generally get it all out by beating the shit out of things in training every day, you should try it sometime" she tried to lighten the mood by flashing him a grin and the scowl seemed to fade from his face, though the tired worry didn't.

"Yeah you're right, I just…" he paused, shuffling his feet uncomfortably, "...seeing you hurt like that sent me over the edge a little. I…worry about you…" his last comment trailed off as he stared at the floor and Jane could feel the corners of her mouth twitching upwards as the meaning sunk in.

"Well, uh, thanks" she said, dismissing all the girly excitement in her head with the rational explanation that all friends worried about each other and it was completely normal of him, nothing else intended.

The silence between them felt like it was charged with electricity.

Jane had leaned in close initially so their conversation wouldn't be overheard, but now they were alone it felt like an entirely different closeness. Their biotics mingled and as usual it set her skin on fire. She tried to stop the blue aura as it began to glow around her but her efforts were in vain. His gaze rose to her face and she could see his skin simmering with dark energy as well, though not as brightly as hers…he was always so controlled. She couldn't help but risk a glance at his chiselled face, soft and kind but angular at the same time. His lips were slightly fuller than the usual man's and she fought against the rushing desire to close the distance between them.

Kaidan's eyes had briefly met hers, the emotions in them so mixed that it was hard for her to tell what he was thinking, before a group of students rounded the corner and they both jerked away from each other. Their biotics snapped back into place and they shared a few awkward glances before stiffly walking toward the cafeteria.


	6. Letting Down Barriers

_**AN: **This is just what I imagined Rahna to be like, sorry if it's different to what people were expecting. Based of the few things Kaidan says in the games and a few people I know with similar personalities. Also tried bringing in the darker aspects of BAaT and what they did to some of the kids in this chapter._

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**Letting Down Barriers**

Rahna Menderes was worried about her friend Jane. It wasn't necessarily to do with the bruises all over her body, some yellow and fading, others fresh and purple, though these _were_ a cause for concern. It was mostly to do with the complete disregard for her own safety and her ability to simply ignore things that shouldn't be supressed.

Since the incident with the prototype bio-amp she'd been constantly in and out of labs, looking more exhausted with each one. Gradually, Jane stopped talking about what happened in them and Rahna could see how her blue eyes looked aged and resigned with pain.

She also saw how badly it was affecting the rest of the group. Ellie had snuck into her dorm room crying one night because Jane had been screaming in her sleep; the tiny 12-year-old had asked Rahna through her tears if there was anything they could do. Tommy had replaced banter with anxious questions and hugs; things were serious if he couldn't make jokes any more. Then she thought of Kaidan, who was the most deeply moved out of all of them. Her dear friend was fraught with worry half the time and full of rage the next, his stable self-control beginning to slip.

For a while, Rahna had cared about Kaidan in a way that was slightly more acute than simple friendship and she suspected he'd felt the same. Yet, sadly, nothing had ever come of it and since Jane's arrival a few months ago she could see his instinct to protect the fragile girl blossom into something much more intense than anything he'd ever shown towards Rahna.

The selfless girl had immediately dismissed her own hurt and tried to usher them together, hoping that both their insecurities would melt away and that her friends would find happiness. However, she feared things would turn destructive if Jane didn't start opening up to her friends, or at least to Kaidan.

Rahna was very worried.

* * *

Another chilling summons to the laboratory was the last thing Jane had wanted to see and she supressed the urge to scream. Her initial dislike of scientists had turned into something far more disturbing and she couldn't help but retch every time she knew she'd have to face those lab coats again.

They wouldn't even say what they wanted from her. Apparently Jane's biotics were different and they explored this by testing prototype bio-amps and drugs on her. The results were more than just unpleasant. She'd stopped opening up to her friends about it, she was worried about how they would react and didn't want to burden them with something she could handle herself.

_Yeah, you're really handling it well_, _aren't you?_ Jane thought bitterly as she noticed the state she was in; curled up on her bunk, rocking back and forth as she clutched her knees, biting her pillow so she wouldn't scream. She remembered what she'd said to Kaidan a few weeks ago when the almost-something had not-happened. She'd told him not to bottle things up, what a hypocrite.

Jane's whole body flinched as her bedroom door opened but relaxed a little when she saw Rahna walk in.

"Ellie's not here, she's in Cookery" she said quietly, trying to quickly wipe away her tears. The older girl just sat down on the bunk next to her and wordlessly wrapped her pastel yellow arms around Jane.

They sat for a while in restful silence before Rahna pulled away, giving her some space. "Jane, honey, I know you probably think you're protecting us, but you can't keep this up forever" it was simple and from anyone else it would have sounded patronising or false, but not from Rahna. Jane heaved a broken sigh and knew she was right.

"I've never had friends like this before, hell, I've never had any friends. I just…don't want to ruin it with something like this" she admitted quietly, still clutching her pillow.

"The only thing that will ruin it is if you pull away. We're all worried sick but it's not your fault, Jane. I know we can get through this hell if we stick together" they were wise words from an adolescent, but everyone at Jump Zero was aged far beyond their years by the hardships they endured. Jane felt a small hand lightly stroke her hair and a pang of familiarity reminded her of the mother she'd once had.

"Thank you Rhana" Jane gave her a small smile through unshed tears. Their brief conversation meant more than words could express but both the girls understood the gravity of it.

"I should go. They want to see me again…" her voice almost broke but the reassuring arm around her shoulders helped.

"We'll be here for you, Jane, always"

Sure enough, as soon as the withered girl stumbled out of the laboratory, a pair of arms was there to catch her. Her usually tanned skin was pale and shining with sweat as a side effect of the most recent mixture of drugs and a new bio-amp. This one had caused the least violent reaction so far, so the scientists had left it in the back of her head instead of cutting it out as they had done with all the others.

Jane rested her head on the person supporting her as a wave of exhaustion passed through her body. The familiar smell of eezo, warm skin and clean linen told her that the strong arms belonged to Kaidan. For the first time in a long while, Jane simply resigned herself to fatigue and let someone take care of her.

* * *

Fury, worry, confusion and affection all waged a silent war within Kaidan's mind as he paced through the halls of Gagarin Station. Rahna had come to talk to him that morning and although some parts of their conversation had been uncomfortable, it had been one that was needed.

They'd talked about Jane and the state she'd been found in earlier. What the sick experiments were doing to her and how Rahna believed she needed someone to truly open up to, how she also believed that someone should be Kaidan. They then talked about the old feelings between them that had remained unspoken for such a long time. It had been pretty distressing when he realised this was her way of saying goodbye to everything other than their friendship. She told him things about his feelings for Jane that even he hadn't noticed before…all of which were true.

Rahna had left him feeling drained, resentful and hopeful all at the same time. She was sacrificing her feelings for him because she thought Jane's chance at happiness was more important than hers. His heart felt like it was wrenching in two. That was the whole reason he cared about Rahna so much in the first place! Her complete devotion and selfless nature, the way she noticed things about people that they would never be able to see for themselves, her gentle compassion for everyone and everything.

What kind of man would he be if he simply let her do this?

But then there was Jane. Beautiful, passionate Jane who set his soul on fire. Ever since she'd come in to his world he had felt more alive than he'd ever done in his life. It wasn't enough to simply get through things for the sake of his parents anymore. He wanted to _live._ Did she even feel anything towards him other than friendship? Rahna seemed to have some idea that she did but he just couldn't believe it to be possible. She was so independent, so confident.  
However, as strong as Jane appeared to be, he also saw the vulnerable girl trapped inside her like a bird in a cage. She needed protecting, not so much from the world around her, but from herself. He wanted more than anything to show her what a wonderful person she really was.

What kind of man would he be if he simply watched her crumble away?

All the answers to his unanswered questions came when he saw the delicate figure fall through the doors leading to the labs. Shivering, eyes bloodshot, she looked as though she might break any second. How had he ever let her get this bad? Why hadn't he pushed aside his uncertainties and been there for her as a friend, as more than a friend?

Kaidan caught her as she stumbled, the temperature of her skin and shallow breathing causing his stomach to sink with worry. He half-carried his exhausted companion to a place where they'd both feel truly at home.

The stars greeted them as Kaidan sat down gently in the small room that they'd all come to love, Jane barely conscious in his arms. He pulled one of the spare blankets around them hoping to stop the shivering and simply held her close, rocking gently from side to side. Why had he let her go through this alone?

Kaidan waited as her breathing slowly returned to normal and he felt her tense body relax against him. He counted the stars through the window and the distinctive, indescribable fragrance of her hair helped to soothe his anxiety. If he hadn't been so worried he probably would have noted this as one of the most beautiful moments of his short life.

"Kaidan?" Jane's gentle voice mumbled as she came round to full consciousness. Her piercing blue eyes looked up at his, the helpless little bird in her cried out to him through those eyes, and he noted that she seemed upset. "I'm sorry you had to see m-"

"Don't" he cut her off as emotion filled his voice. He couldn't believe _she_ was the one saying sorry. "Don't apologise, Jane. We should never have watched you get like this…_I _shouldn't have" He looked back out to the stars, angry with himself for not being here weeks ago. She followed his gaze and leaned her head against his shoulder sleepily.

"It's beautiful" she sighed sounding truly content. They sat for a while simply enjoying the view and the company before a thought crossed Kaidan's mind.

"Jane, what are you doing for the break?" Every four months they were given two weeks to go home to their families, though the break was more for the staff than the students. It wasn't as exciting as it sounded either; most of the kids went home to parents and friends that were scared of them. Kaidan remembered the last few conversations he'd had with his father and frowned. Families with biotic children were always stretched at the seams, his more than most. He realised that Jane wouldn't have a home to go back to and worried that she would have to stay on Jump Zero.

"I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it…stay here I guess" though her tone was calm he felt her shudder slightly at the thought of it.

"Well," he hesitated but was sure that he could bring his mother round to the idea somehow, "why don't you come home to Vancouver with me?"

Jane looked up at him, shocked. "Really?" then she faltered, "I couldn't, Kaidan, what about your parents? I'd just cause trouble…" her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth pulled sideways into a small concerned pout. He noted that she looked utterly adorable, and would probably be warped into the wall if he ever voiced that out loud, but tried to bring her round. She was convinced that she would be a nuisance but it just made Kaidan more determined than ever to make his plan a reality. The more he thought about it, the more certain he was that it would do Jane some good.

After debating over it for a while they both grew silent again, but it wasn't uncomfortable, it was peaceful. The stars watched them through the window and their biotics hummed gently in tandem.

In a short time Jane's breathing grew heavier and Kaidan could tell she's fallen asleep. He gently shifted them into a more comfortable position and let her rest, but as she did so he couldn't resist the urge to bring up his omni-tool.

_**K. Alenko: Hey Mom, you awake?**_

He waited for a while, hoping that it wasn't the middle of the night back on Earth, it was impossible to keep track of real time on the station. All the days blurred into one. A few minutes later his omni-tool beeped in response.

_**O. Alenko: I wasn't but I am now. How are you honey? I hope the training is going well**__.  
_He'd been masking the truth from his mother ever since he'd arrived at brain camp, he couldn't stand the thought of her worrying.

_**K. Alenko: Things are good, training is tough like always but fun. How are things at home?**_

_**O. Alenko: **__**Quiet but nice. Your father's serving on the SSV Tokyo but it's not long until he's off on shore leave. I've been out visiting the orchard a lot, the peach trees are beautiful.**_

_**K. Alenko: Sounds great. I'd love to see the orchard when I'm home in the break…speaking of which…I mentioned a friend called Jane didn't I?**_

_**O. Alenko: Kaidan Alenko, if you've gone and got a helpless young girl pregnant I swear I'm going to kill you.**_

_**K. Alenko: What!? NO! Mom!**_

_**O. Alenko: Okay okay…I had to ask just in case.**_

_**K. Alenko: I was just wondering if Jane could stay with us during the break?**_

_**O. Alenko: I don't know honey, won't her own family want to see her?**_

_**K. Alenko: She's an orphan Mom, she'll just be alone on the station otherwise. **_And being without her for two weeks would drive me insane…He decided to leave that last part out, wouldn't want his Mom getting any more of those horrifying ideas about him getting girls pregnant.

_**O. Alenko: Well I can't promise anything until I speak to your father**_

_**K. Alenko: You'd really like her Mom, she's great, she's never been to the countryside before either, I bet she'd love the orchard.**_

_**O. Alenko: Alright alright, enough with the virtual puppy eyes, I'll speak to your father and let you know, love you x**_

_**K. Alenko: You're the best Mom x**_

Kaidan knew his father wouldn't be too happy about it but he honestly didn't care, his mother's kind nature probably meant Jane would be able to stay with them and he couldn't stop the foolish grin from spreading across his face. Making sure she was definitely asleep, Kaidan pressed a gentle kiss to Jane's unruly hair and couldn't recall the last time he'd felt this happy.


	7. Mrs Alenko

_**AN:** Okay so this was meant to be like two paragraphs but my brain sort of exploded and ran away with itself, giving me two short chapters instead. Also majorly sleep deprived so I apologise for whatever nonsense you read here and any spelling mistakes haha. I promise to return to normality before I write anything else :P_

_Also, please bear in mind that I am an English country girl who has never traveled beyond Europe so a combination of Google and my imagination was needed for this._

* * *

**Mrs Alenko**

"Are you sure?" Jane asked for the hundredth time.

"Oh for the love of-" Kaidan sighed exasperated.

"Okay okay! I get it!" She held her hands up in mock surrender but still couldn't ease the jittery mixture of nerves and excitement that ran rampant through her stomach.

At first she'd been in a mood at Kaidan for organising her visit in the break while she slept unawares. Although the idea appealed to her greatly, she still couldn't handle people looking after her, and for some unfathomable reason Kaidan had recently made her wellbeing one of his primary concerns. The whole situation was something Jane just wasn't prepared for and she had unconsciously decided to take it out on the poor boy who really hadn't done anything to warrant such treatment.

However, being the incredibly patient person he was, Kaidan had just quietly swallowed her snappy asides, understanding that half of them were in jest and even when they weren't she didn't really mean any harm. Eventually she'd apologised awkwardly, much to his long-suffering amusement, and let herself get a little excited about her first real holiday.

"Thank you" she awkwardly mumbled across to him as they waited in a small room for their shuttle.

"You've said that already" he chuckled, peeking down at her from the corner of his eye "I think that makes it, what, six times in the last half hour?"

"Yeah, yeah" she waved off his mocking smirk and continued to play with random strands of her feral hair "I just feel bad about being such an ass before"

"If it's any consolation, you being an ass is actually strangely adorable" he said with a glint of mischief in his amber eyes. Since he'd learned these kinds of comments sparked a particular irritation in her, he apparently found it entertaining to drop them into conversations all the time. It pissed her off to no end. It also made her feel giggly because he was the one saying it (even if she was sure it was only meant as banter). When the two feelings combined it usually resulted in some sort of violence.

"What the…adorable!? Take it back Alenko!" Jane threateningly jostled him with her biotics, trying to make her scowl seem as fierce as possible. Apparently her attempts failed because Kaidan's musical laugh danced around the room and she suddenly forgot why she was annoyed.

She'd had the pleasure of becoming well acquainted with his mesmerising laugh over the past few weeks. Jump Zero was still a special kind of hell, and Vyrnnus was still a special kind of bastard, but since that afternoon with Kaidan in their make-shift observatory things seemed a little brighter. Learning to let people in was definitely a lengthy work in progress but she was making baby-steps.

Tommy and Kaidan combined was the best medicine she could ask for, the former's loud humour always lifted the mood and the latter's underlying care soothed the bruises on her spirit. The three young biotics had formed thick bonds of friendship over the past month and Jane knew they'd be hard pressed to ever break ties like these, no matter where they all ended up after brain camp.

Somewhere along the line though, Rahna was slipping away. Brief injured glances at Kaidan and pained but resigned ones at her, made Jane suspect she was the cause. Guilt weighed on her heart and she wanted to explain that Kaidan didn't look at her in that way, that he made all the same comments as Tommy, that it was just playful camaraderie, but something kept her from ever forming the words. Maybe it was because she'd learned to frantically cling to the brief rays of happiness when they appeared in her life. Maybe it was because she just wasn't as self-sacrificing as the older girl. Whatever the reason, Jane simply watched silently as Rahna floated away and Ellie clung to her loyally as always.

Was it selfish of her? Probably.

One quick glance at the charming adolescent in the seat next to her confirmed her suspicions. Oh yeah, she was definitely selfish.

* * *

Touching down on Earth again after so many months was more of a big deal than Jane had thought it would be. She found herself smiling gently at the bustling noise of city life and the purring of sky car engines.

"Ah it's good to be home" Kaidan's voice gave life to her thoughts and they both walked through the spaceport with a spring in their step. As they rounded the corner to where Kaidan's mother would be waiting, Jane felt like some rabid monster had started clawing at her stomach again (she would never understand why anyone likened the feeling to butterflies, it was more like angry carnivorous moths). Being a good house guest was something they didn't teach at the orphanages and she suddenly found herself painfully aware of how shabby her appearance was. Baggy second-hand clothes she'd inherited at the last shelter, unkempt hair that refused to ever lie flat and of course, those ugly white scars that stood out gracelessly against her bronze skin.

"Hey Mom!" Kaidan held a hand up in greeting and Jane followed his gaze. A small dark haired woman jogged over to them in elegant high heels and threw her arms around Kaidan's neck. The family resemblance was uncanny, save their eyes, and Jane couldn't help but stare at the woman in awe. She was eye-catching in every way: dark beauty, petite features, smart but elegant clothes and a wide smile revealing perfect teeth. Jane silently wished that biotically blowing things up was socially acceptable so she could let out all her anxiety and be done with it.

Just when she had decided against destroying the spaceport, Kaidan's mother turned away from her son and pulled Jane into a welcoming embrace.

"Hello Jane dear, it's lovely to meet you at last"

"It's…nice to meet you too…Mrs. Alenko" Jane stammered, not used to receiving so much hugging and friendliness from adults.

"Oh none of that! Just call me Olivia" the two most beautiful people in the world flashed Jane a pair of brilliant smiles and she darted her eyes around the spaceport in embarrassment at her own appearance, fiddling with flyaway strands of her hair.

Her nerves eventually settled as they walked toward the sky car, Kaidan keeping up a relaxed conversation with his mother about various things, mainly the orchard and his mother's work as an interior designer. Jane kept quiet during their journey through the city, gazing at the shining towers of Vancouver through the window of the sky car.

They briefly stopped at a mall because Kaidan was complaining about needing some new clothes, but as they meandered around the shops he kept asking her questions about which jeans she preferred and what her favourite colour to wear was. Before she caught on to what he was doing, Mrs Alenko had scooped up armfuls of garments for the both of them saying "Well it's only fair!" and proceeded to the checkout. Jane protested vehemently, insisting that she didn't need anything but Kaidan just shot her a mischievous grin and she pouted at him in defeat.

Olivia Alenko was a particularly kind woman, though she modestly thought her actions were unremarkable as most kind people do. To her, generosity and thoughtfulness were second nature, but to Jane it was something truly amazing. She was beginning to better understand Kaidan's personality, he wasn't kind and caring to be annoying or to gain anything from it which was what she'd learned to expect from most people, it was because he genuinely cared. Coming from a cold life of loneliness, it took Jane some time to get used to this idea. Yet, as the two Alenkos welcomed her into their beautiful home with such tender affection she could feel the barriers in her mind starting to fade away and warmth return to her heart.


	8. Nightmares and Daydreams

**Nightmares and Daydreams**

"Shepard!"

She was running, almost crashing, through bright white corridors in a mad panic. She couldn't get out. There was no way out, just an endless corridor and blinding lights. They were behind her, calling her name in a disturbing chorus with voices that raked across her ears like broken glass.

Without warning her body slammed into something and to her horror she saw that the corridor had ended. She panicked; the world was a spinning blur of madness as she searched for an exit. She felt one of them grab her hair and let out a scream. No! NO! Anything but them! Suddenly there were hands all over her body; their touch was like ice, freezing her to the core. She screamed again as hot syringes were plunged into her arms, her face, all over her skin. The white walls were splattered with the garish colour of blood.

"Amber, run!" A long forgotten voice yelled in desperation. She begged the voice for help, but the white monsters kept cutting and stabbing at her flesh, red rivers flowing into her mouth and eyes. She violently choked on the metallic fluid, causing her raw injuries to tear at the edges.

This time as she screamed she felt more arms around her but they weren't clawed or icy. She struggled against them in her terror but they held true and she felt trapped again, the blood red world around her whirling into black.

"Jane! Wake up!" The voice was different to the one before but it sounded familiar. Jane? Was that her name? She felt a wave of nausea roll through her body and had to force the pungent bile from rising to her mouth. Blinking rapidly she could vaguely recall being in a house, not a corridor, and with friends, not monsters. Her breathing slowed and the arms around her felt comforting instead of restrictive.

"It's alright, I'm here" the voice soothed as she was rocked back and forth. The smell was alien and she found it difficult to bring up the face it belonged to.

"Mom, what's going on?" A sleepier, more familiar voice asked from the doorway. Kaidan's silhouette came closer and she felt his weight shift the balance of the mattress.

"Another nightmare, this one seemed worse though" she realised the voice belonged to Olivia Alenko and shame wrapped itself around her heart like a snake.

"Mm so sorry mussus 'lenko" Jane found herself sobbing as the whole situation overwhelmed her. She was still haunted by the unrelenting terror of her subconscious and the fact that Olivia was stroking her hair the way her own mother used to all those years ago made Jane feel desperately vulnerable. It wasn't long until exhaustion drained her body and she felt herself lowered on to soft pillows once more.

* * *

Stumbling down the spiral staircase in her baggy pyjamas, Jane let out a huge yawn as the tendrils of sleep released her from its clutches. Sunlight streamed through the long windows, covering the Alenko's beautiful house in a soft morning glow. The whole building was circular and made of fine pale materials Jane didn't know the names of. All the rooms were beautifully unique, some more masculine and angular meant for work or exercise, while others welcomed their visitors with calming colours and soft furniture. Modern architecture was usually stunning but this house was a work of art. Kaidan had told her the previous evening that it was his mother's baby, as the orchard was his fathers, and she'd spent years directing its creation.

"Good morning" a cheerful voice snapped her out of her musings. Jane carefully descended the rest of the steps and saw Kaidan's welcoming face smiling at her from the high counter in the kitchen. Her heart started beating double time as if it was willing her to close the distance between them as quickly as possible, but she kept it in check as she grimly recalled the events of the previous night.

"I'm sorry about last night" she sighed sheepishly as she folded her arms and leant on the marble surface opposite him.

"If you say sorry again when it's completely unnecessary I'm going to start giving out punches" one corner of his mouth twitched upwards and his eyes flashed at her threateningly.

"You wouldn't hurt a girl Alenko" she said with a mocking glare, relieved at how easy it was to fall into their regular teasing.

"Since when have you ever acted like a girl Shepard?" he retorted with a wicked grin while she feigned taking a shot to the heart.

"Oh, ouch! Uncalled for!" she huffed a few laughs but the smile quickly slid from her face as she continued, "But seriously, it's not right…I woke you both…I…"

"Jane, stop." Kaidan gently put a hand over hers and she felt her biotics respond excitedly. "Do you want to talk about it? Seemed like more than an average nightmare" She shook her head, glaring at the counter and mumbling another "Sorry".

His hand left hers quickly and she genuinely wasn't expecting a punch on the arm, gasping in outrage as Kaidan gave her a look that clearly spelled out 'I told you I would'.

"Not fair! I was being serious!" she pouted at him over the kitchen counter but his face was once more calm and pensive.

"So was I. You have no need to be sorry, and don't worry about Mom, I actually think it helped her a little" he turned his gaze toward one of the windows, deep in thought.

"What do you mean?" Jane couldn't imagine the friendly, confident woman needing help and definitely couldn't see how a messed up biotic kid like her could be of any assistance.

"Another time" He said, firmly ending the conversation as he turned back to her. Jane couldn't help but notice a moment of old sadness in his perfect honey eyes before he masked it with a dazzling grin, "Now, what would you like to do today? Mom's already gone to work but she left me with strict instructions to make sure you had a good time"

There it was again, the automatic duty…no...desire to care for those around them. Instead of being flustered by it this time, Jane felt touched that people as wonderful as they were would take it upon themselves to care for her. Although she was convinced Kaidan only did so out of the loveliness of his character and nothing more intimate than that, but she quietly hoped it might be.

Her stomach seemed to have a mind of its own and growled angrily at her for paying more attention to Kaidan's winning personality than to food.

"I guess breakfast first, then I'll lay out the options for you" the handsome boy chuckled and Jane savoured the sweet sound wishing she could bottle it up and keep it close.

_Aw shit, when did you become so nauseatingly cute?_ A voice inside her groaned and she cringed slightly as she realised how obsessive she'd become over this boy. The rational side of her, the side that knew pain and loss, warned her that all the stupid dreaming was only going to end in tears and that she should never have agreed to this trip. Yet, a new, more emboldened part of Jane desperately drank in his gentleness as if dying of thirst and she simply couldn't get enough.

When he gave her one of those crooked smiles as he chatted about Vancouver, the fragile resistance in her evaporated and she let herself be swept away in the wonderfully surreal moment.

* * *

A twig snapped ominously under his boot and Kaidan winced, hoping that he would remain undetected.

The morning had consisted of a visit to the busy English Bay beach, mostly just chatting and people watching. They'd been having fun making up ridiculous stories about the passers-by when Jane had burst into a fit of laughter and flashed bright blue at the same time. A few people near them exclaimed in surprise but didn't know enough about biotics to think of it as more than a practical joke. Still, they decided to move to a quieter location and ended up on one of the beautiful trails in Stanley Park.

What had started out as a childish game of tag soon turned into what felt like a full scale military operation. Kaidan wove stealthily through the trees, all his senses magnified as he searched for any signs of his opponent. He'd expected her to be loud and untamed like her biotics but with no sign of her for a good ten minutes he was starting to suspect he'd been wrong.

He heard the crunching footsteps behind him before he saw her but it was too late. Just as he was turning to the direction of the sound, a small body tackled him to the floor face down. She pinned his arms behind his back and sat on his legs firmly.

"Ha!" Jane cried triumphantly as he struggled beneath her surprisingly strong grip. "Did Jane Shepard, who is apparently too loud and impulsive, manage to take the ever so calm and controlled Kaidan Alenko by surprise?" He mumbled a few curse words into the leaves surrounding his face.

"I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that? If I can't hear your surrender I'm not letting you go" her voice was sickly sweet with victory as she leaned towards his ear. He felt her weight shift slightly and threw all his strength into throwing her off him. Rolling quickly he managed to reverse their positions, only when he pinned her to the ground she was facing him and her bright blue eyes caught him off guard.

The whole atmosphere changed from playful camaraderie to something much more intense in a matter of seconds. She blinked up at him in surprise, leaves caught in her messy brown locks and the fresh pink of exercise blossoming over her cheeks and lips. He was trapped in the moment, unsure of how to proceed. Desire raged through his body like wildfire but it was balanced by the equally powerful chill of insecurity. Before he could make a decision their biotics flared at the sudden proximity causing them both to gasp. The added electricity wasn't doing anything to help Kaidan's caution and he was desperate to meet her lips with his but as soon as he began to close the distance, a shooting pain erupted behind his eyes.

_Why now!? Why! Any other time would have been fine!_ He groaned internally as the oncoming migraine evaporated the building tension.

"Uh…migraine?" Jane said with an awkward cough as they both sat up into normal positions. He nodded while rubbing his forehead, cursing his stupid L2 implant and its stupid timing. Twice now he'd come so close to closing that cursed distance between them. What he'd felt for Rahna was like a brief flame, always dying out when it had run its course. Jane was like a star burning at the very core of him, she was constant, always in his mind. He glanced across at her through the hand over his eyes. She was attempting to comb the leaves out of her beautiful pixie hair and he internally smiled at the frustrated little pout she was pulling. He let out a sigh, certain that if the L2 implant didn't drive him to insanity then this girl certainly would.

The clumsy silence that engulfed the rest of the evening was maddening. Jane barely looked at him, only the occasional blue flash of her eyes over dinner while his mother obliviously chatted away to both of them. Oh God, had he ruined things? What if she didn't feel that way about him? The internal dialogue continued over his raging migraine for a while and he grimaced at his food, suddenly losing his usually massive appetite.

As soon as possible, Kaidan excused himself before escaping to his room. He sighed in relief as the darkness soothed his aching eyes. He slumped to the floor against his bed, praying that the combined pain of his head and heart would leave him in peace.

Kaidan woke to a strange noise and a very stiff neck, realising he'd probably dozed off against the edge of his bed. He rubbed a rough hand over his face before straightening his rigid limbs in to a wobbly standing position. The noise came again, like a gentle whimpering. If he'd been in a deep sleep he probably wouldn't have heard it.

As he softly made his way to the spare room he discovered the source of the noise. Jane was mumbling in her sleep, pleading to someone.

"No…don't leave…can't be alone…no…" was all he could make out as he walked over to the edge of her bed. She was completely restless; eyes scrunched tight, jaw clenched, limbs twitching, the familiar blue corona beginning to ripple around her body. A wave of concern gripped his heart and he pressed a palm to her cheek as he gently sat down on the bed. Her face was wet with tears and she unconsciously struggled against the touch. "Nooo" she sobbed, still writhing in the clutches of her nightmare.

"Shhh, it's alright" Kaidan soothed as he pulled her small form into his arms. After a few moments she stopped struggling but didn't wake. Her features smoothed to a more serene expression and he carried on gently stroking her hair, noticing how fragile she looked when she was sleeping. "I'll be here" he whispered, hoping that he would be able to keep that promise, that he would be able to be there when she couldn't fight the demons on her own, whether she wanted the help or not.


	9. Laying Old Ghosts To Rest

_**AN: **I loved writing this chapter but I'm sorry if it seems slow to anyone else, I just love exploring the characters and putting my own edge on what makes them the way they are. I hope you enjoy as well :)_

_Also another massive thank you to all the new favourites and followers, each one makes me dance with joy! I'll try to deserve them!_

* * *

**Laying Old Ghosts To Rest**

The rest of that week had passed in an eventful blur. Kaidan and Jane had toured every inch of Vancouver worth seeing and Mrs Alenko had even taken some time off work to do 'girly things' with their guest that Kaidan was apparently not allowed to be a part of. A ghost of a smile played over his lips as he heard their synchronised laughter echo from the house. He saw how easily Jane and his mother had fallen into step with one another, surprising given their contrasting personalities, but as he looked closer he could see how unsurprising it really was. One was a daughterless mother; the other was a motherless child. Without realising, the two old souls had started healing unspoken wounds.

Although Jane seemed happy here, Kaidan couldn't help but notice the troubling distance that had grown between them. Since he'd almost kissed her that afternoon in Stanley Park she'd put up barriers again and seemed uncomfortable when he was physically near her. What had he done? They still shared friendly conversation but it wasn't as natural, he ached for her to let down those walls again and nursed the assumed rejection in her actions. It was obvious that she only saw him as a friend and didn't want to hurt him by telling it as it was.

The beautiful view of the Vancouver Mountains was lost on Kaidan's sulky outlook and he just sat picking at the grass until his mother called him in to prepare for dinner. Maybe their trip to the orchard tomorrow would do him some good, he thought as he slouched over the kitchen sink.

* * *

Commander Elias Alenko tried to keep his eyes open as he neared the final leg of his exhausting journey. Shore leave had been well earned and he was anxious to see his wife after months of vid-calls cut short. He was also eager to see his son, of course, but the commander couldn't help the wave of unease that travelled through his gut when he thought about Kaidan. There wouldn't be a minute of his life where he didn't love his son, but that didn't stop him from thinking he was dangerous. The sooner he trained his abilities and put them to good use the better. There was no safer place for those bioitic kids than the Alliance and as much as Kaidan might hate him for it, he was grateful to BAaT for giving parents like himself and Olivia the hope that their children would have a good future.

His body cried out in relief as he made out the silhouette of the farmhouse through the thick sheet of rain. A river of golden light flowed down the front steps as his wife ran through the rain to greet him. "Eli!" the beautiful, and now sopping wet, woman gasped as she threw her tiny arms around his neck "I thought you wouldn't get here until Wednesday!"

"I got lucky, Liv" the commander chuckled, happy to be home.

"Let's get you inside" she said as if suddenly noticing the downpour around them, "Oh and you must come and meet Jane, you know I said Kaidan had a friend staying?" His wife began to chatter away as they sloshed through the puddles to the friendly building. Eli Alenko wasn't much in the mood for entertaining young biotic guests but he didn't want to wipe the enthusiasm off his wife's face and decided to stick it out for a little while.

"Eli, she…she reminds me of Lily"

The commander froze in his tracks, just a few inches away from the farmhouse steps. It was a name none of them had spoken for a very long time and one that brought a shadow of grief across their family. Being a marine he knew how to compartmentalise and managed to give his wife and encouraging squeeze of the hand before stowing away the old memories and walking toward the house.

There were some things though, that were too unexpected to ignore.

The carefully constructed dams in Eli Alenko's mind burst in an onslaught of memories when he laid eyes on the girl standing next to his son. It couldn't be…He'd had a long journey, this must be his mind playing tricks on him. What had his wife said her name was? Joy? Jane? Not Amber. But those eyes: wide, terrified and defenceless peering from the dark cupboard. That face: blood spattered over shivering features, a bruise appearing on her delicate forehead. It couldn't be.

"Eli?"

"Jane?"

* * *

Jane's fingers traced the delicate pattern on the cushion in front of her. They'd arrived at the Alenko's family orchard that evening and now they were relaxing from their journey in front of a large log fire expertly built by Kaidan.

She eyed him carefully as he tended to the crackling mound and felt a warmth in her chest that she knew wasn't just from the fire. His angular features were bathed in bright golden lights and she took a moment to appreciate how truly handsome he was. She couldn't ignore the feelings that bubbled to the surface whenever he was around, the way her breath caught whenever he spoke, but she also couldn't ignore the nausea of fear. It was a different kind of fear to what she felt in her nightmares, this was deep-rooted and uncertain.

Kaidan looked up from his crouched position and caught her gaze for a moment; his eyes were unreadable but as she looked away a cool wave of sadness washed over her. She frowned at the cushion in her lap and her fingers resumed their idle patterns across its surface. Friendship was complicated. Wonderful, but complicated.

A commotion by the front door caused Jane to peer over the back of the couch. Kaidan's mother was squinting through one of the windows with a wide grin on her face. Kaidan called over to her but before he got a response she quickly pulled open the door and ran out into the rain. The two adolescents shot each other equally confused expressions before walking toward the open door.

"Ah, it's my Dad" Kaidan sighed as his confusion was replaced with something resembling bitterness. Jane could barely make out the two figures through the night's cloak and the rain pouring through it but as they came closer she could make out a large figure with a brusque military stride.

As he stepped into the light Jane couldn't stop the gasp from passing her lips. Kaidan turned to her in confusion but all she could see was the face across the room. After all these years of suppressing the memories, fighting the nightmares away, she was suddenly assaulted with flashes of violence and fear. The loss of her parents she'd barely had time to know.

She wanted to run and hide, just like she had done that night, but those brown eyes wouldn't let her go. The young soldier who had found her, traumatised, hiding in a cupboard, was standing across the room 10 years later, as if it was only yesterday. She remembered clinging to his neck in her terror and refusing to let go when the medics tried to clean her up and examine her. He'd just sat with her for hours, trying to calm her down, talking about random things she couldn't remember now. Maybe he'd reminded her of her father; maybe a little girl in shock just needed some kind of normality instead of nurses and machines. Whatever the reason, his face had stayed imprinted on her mind for years, and was one she would never forget.

All this went through her head in a heartbeat and she blinked away the moisture forming in her eyes as she tried to push away the nausea rolling in her stomach.

"Eli?" Olivia placed a hand on her husband's arm and he tore his eyes away from Jane long enough to let out a deep sigh.

"Jane?" She felt Kaidan's warm palm on her bare shoulder and shivered at the contact. Without moving a muscle Jane heard her own voice echo through the uncomfortable silence, though she wasn't sure she'd commanded it to speak.

"You're the solider, aren't you?" it came out more confident than she felt and the older man just nodded with knowing eyes, not quite sure what to say.

"Wait…you know each other?" Kaidan's husky voice asked incredulously. The spell of stillness that had been cast over the room was broken when a throaty chuckle sounded from the large figure across the room. Everyone looked at the commander with baffled expressions but he just shook his head in disbelief before walking into the kitchen and re-emerging with a bottle of golden liquid.

"I think I'm going to need a stiff drink, perhaps you too my friend" he gestured toward Jane with the bottle before throwing himself into an armchair near the fire.

"Elias, what on earth…and Jane don't you dare touch that stuff" Olivia said with the distinct stern tone only acquired after years of being a wife and a mother. Jane made up her mind and walked toward the fire slowly before turning back to the two most confused faces she'd ever seen.

"Olivia, Kaidan, if it's alright I'd like a moment to talk to Mr Alenko alone" her voice was quiet but her fear was gone, replaced by wild curiosity. She had so many questions left unanswered for too long. She had a feeling that this face from her past could help her finally put some ghosts to rest.

* * *

After what seemed like an age of pacing around his room in frustrating silence, Kaidan finally heard the living room door open. He padded down the wooden stairs and saw a tear stained face staring up at him. Without a word Jane climbed the few steps between them and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his shoulder. His angry confusion melted away and he welcomed her embrace with loving concern.

"Hey, hey" he soothed as a new wave of tears soaked through his shirt. She sniffed and mumbled some sort of apology into the material which he returned with a teasing smack on her arm.

"Oi" she chuckled faintly, pulling away from him. It lifted his heart to hear the old Jane returning to her voice, he didn't realise how much he'd missed his friend in their week of distant exchanges.

"Do you mind if we go outside?" She asked suddenly, her bronze skin was a little flushed from sitting near the fire for so long and Kaidan nodded before grabbing some sweaters from his room.

The rain had stopped but it was still damp so they sat under the back porch, peering out into the autumn night as their breath blew out in white puffs. Jane was silent for a while, her knees tucked close to her chest under one of Kaidan's hoodies that drowned her. Her full lips were pursed in thought and he just waited, knowing that if she wanted to talk or not then he would be there regardless.

"I don't remember my parents" she started, still gazing out at the black shapes of the trees. Her voice was distant and factual, like someone telling a story that didn't belong to them. "I don't really remember what they looked like or sounded like. I was only 6 when they died so I guess I wouldn't really…" she stopped and sniffed but Kaidan just listened without interrupting, knowing it was what she needed.

"All I remember is waking up to a load of strange noises. Some men had broken into the house and were holding my parent's at gunpoint or knifepoint, probably both. I made a noise and one of them found me, dragged me out to where they were kneeling, started threatening my Dad" the facts rolled off Jane's tongue easily and he could tell it was probably because this memory had haunted her many times.

"One of them hurt me and then Dad just flipped. Guess he thought he could save me and Mom if he distracted them. There was just chaos and screaming, I looked around to find them and the next thing I see is blood, everywhere. I didn't know what was going on at the time; I'd never heard gunshots before so it didn't really sink in that the body on the floor of the next room was my mother, that the blood all over my face was hers."

Kaidan winced at the details, not because he was a stranger to gore but just because of the horror a small child had witnessed. Jane's expression was blank, her voice void of any emotion as she continued.

"I ran and hid in a cupboard somewhere for God knows how long until your father found me. I was in shock so the medics tried to take me from him but I just screamed and wouldn't let go" she chuckled a little without any humour, "guess I never liked doctors"

"Your dad says he knew my father, something about the work he was doing on eezo." Kaidan stiffened at this but let her continue. "He'd been visiting my family so he was on the Alliance base where we lived when things all went crazy. With one of their top scientists murdered inside their own walls it was a mess for the Alliance apparently. Your dad says he tried to sort things out for me but was pretty much ordered home with a vague assurance that I'd be sent to a good family"

Jane made a sound in between a cough and a snort as a dark shadow covered her face. Kaidan knew the rest from that look. It told him that she wasn't sent to a good family, that she was probably pushed off the radar by the investigation of a high profile murder, and that it had been an environment to open new scars instead of healing them.

He wanted to put an arm around her but something stopped him. Maybe the past that he'd never shared, not with anyone, not even Rahna who had been so wonderful at comforting him. He felt like he was on even ground with Jane, she understood. So instead of a sympathetic hug, Kaidan offered something else, a piece of himself.

"I wasn't always an only child" he heaved the simple words from his chest. Jane turned her face from the orchard towards him, the kind understanding in her eyes willing him to continue.

"When Mom was exposed to element zero, she was carrying twins. I was lucky, ended up with biotics. My sister Lily wasn't..." his voice took on a similar tone to Jane's, detached as the buried pain surfaced in factual statements.

"She battled with cancer for 11 years. Sometimes the doctors would tell us it was gone completely, but then the scans a year or so later told us it wasn't. There's a cure for nearly every kind of cancer but it was a completely different strain and there was nothing they could do. In the end her body just couldn't fight anymore"

Kaidan could see Jane's eyes studying his face but he continued to look out at the sky, afraid that emotions would overwhelm him if he looked at her.

"God, she was so happy, Jane, and stubborn like you" moisture began to blur his vision and he could hear his voice beginning to roughen with faint laughter and emotion. "I watched her going through the most awful treatments but she was just always giggling about something, showing me a new story she'd written or a picture she'd drawn, telling me not to be such a softie" he chuckled as he allowed himself to remember a long forgotten face.

"Lily was the best thing about our family and then one day she was gone. It tore Mom apart completely and Dad just threw himself into every assignment he could. I was just silently heartbroken and the family sort of fell apart. Then one day at school some kid made a comment about my sister, talking about when the skeleton girl was coming back and I lost it, threw him across the room with my biotics. I'd hidden them from my parents for years, I didn't want them to worry about anything except Lily, but now it was out in the open. Mom was terrified, Dad was furious, and then the men in black suits showed up at our house. Guess you can figure out the rest" He sighed, relief washing over his body alongside grief. He'd never spoken about his sister to anyone and it felt like an enormous burden had left his body.

Jane quietly slid over to him and they both sat in comfortable silence, arms wrapped around each other as the painful pieces of their past started to feel a little less raw.

"For what it's worth" Jane broke the silence, her voice no longer factual but filled with bare emotion, "I think Lily would be proud of you" it took a moment for the words to sink in but he knew that she meant it. No one had ever told him that before. His parents might have felt proud of him but they'd never vocalised it once.

Kaidan looked down at the girl by his side in admiration, no one had ever seen him the way she did and he wondered how life could have been so cruel to someone so kind. He wanted to kiss her, to show her how grateful he was to have her in his life, to return the healing and happiness she'd brought to him, but he held back in fear of her reaction. Whether it was because she only saw him as a friend or because of something else, it was clear from last time that she wasn't comfortable with the idea of him kissing her. He pushed those desires to one side with great difficulty; he was only a young man after all. However, complicating such a brilliant friendship would be unforgivable, and he wasn't ready to lose her in any way, so he forced himself to simply enjoy the moment they were sharing right now, and wait to see if anything else might develop in time.


	10. Stolen Moments

_**AN: **Thank you again for all your amazing support for this story! It warms my heart so much :)_

_Just a cute little chapter that made me smile before it's back to brain camp_

_ (Yes, it's taken them 10 chapters, but they are awkward teenagers after all haha)_

* * *

**Stolen Moments**

"You are in _so_ much trouble!" Jane's threatening voice came from a tangle of limbs at the bottom of a tree. Her companion had thrown her off balance with a flash of biotics and she'd tumbled into the ground, giving him a good head start in their race. She scrambled to her feet and sprinted in the direction of his disappearing figure.

"Right…" she grinned, menace spreading over her features as she attempted to perform a lift.

"Shit!" Kaidan yelled in surprise as he was yanked in to the air mid-stride. Jane just threw a victorious laugh in his direction as she sped past, dropping him back to the floor in a heap. She could feel the ground begin to incline and knew it was a sign that they were coming to the finish line. Putting all her efforts in to the final sprint, muscles burning, she raced toward the top of the small hill only to be knocked to the floor again by the familiar heat of dark energy. She rolled on to her side as Kaidan approached the top of the hill and saw her chance to pull him off the ground again, only this time he was expecting it and threw up a flimsy barrier, not enough to avoid the effects of her attack but enough to stumble to the tall apple tree marking the finish line.

"Bastard!" Jane scowled as a smile spread over her opponent's face.

"Told you…I was faster" he panted as he sauntered over to where she lay.

"Bullshit, you cheated!" she tossed a mass of dark energy at him but there was no power behind it so it just ruffled his ebony hair as he sat down beside her. They rarely got a chance to practice their biotics on their break as Kaidan's parents were both vehemently against it, so they'd decided to take some time to brush up their skills in the orchard before they went back to camp. It felt good to be so relaxed and Jane let the blue aura pulse around her body unrestricted.

"This is nice" she said closing her eyes as her breathing returned to normal. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been surrounded by the sounds of nature. Noises of birdsong and the wind rustling the leaves of the trees washed over her ears like a lullaby.

"Yeah it is" he replied, sighing as his own energy added to hers with a faint hum.

Jane opened her eyes slightly and glanced sideways at her companion as she often did. His usually perfect hair was mussed from exercise and biotics, falling over his forehead in dark wisps. The blue ripple of the air surrounding them enhanced his features and she couldn't help but suck in a breath at such a striking sight. He was leaning back on his hands with his eyes closed; face welcoming the sky with the most tranquil expression she'd ever witnessed. He was truly breath-taking.

Unsure of how to proceed, but so caught up in the whirl of her emotions, Jane quietly edged along the grass so that the distance between them was considerably smaller. There was something stirring in the pit of her stomach that she'd never felt before, it was exciting and warm at the same time like the air before a storm, or the feeling of her biotics building before release. As she carefully studied the soft texture of Kaidan's skin, the straight line of his nose and the pink flesh of his lips, the sensation in her stomach intensified.

Her skin hummed with an electrifying mixture of biotics and anticipation as she continued her appreciation for his athletic figure. She'd spent so much time around him and never really _seen_ him. It got to the point where she couldn't stand the distance anymore and in a mixture of exhilaration and anxiety she lunged toward his face. He must have felt the change in the atmosphere because he pulled himself out of his trance in time for them to come colliding head to head with a painful thud.

"Ow! What was that?" He protested, rubbing his now sore forehead in confusion. Jane covered her face, mortified at the result of her actions and felt as though all the blood in her body was now rising to her cheeks and ears.

"Nothing" she said a little too quickly, "Let's just pretend that never happened"

"What…?" Kaidan began but slowly the confusion on his face was replaced with realisation, and then with a hesitant grin. "Did you just try to…?"

"No, absolutely not" She tried to snort casually but she wasn't fooling anyone, least of all him, with the rosy colour now splashed over her cheeks. "Sorry, I just…don't know…I've never really…" she blurted all at once, trying to give some kind of explanation for why she'd just given them both swollen lumps to the forehead.

Kaidan then gave her the most brilliant smile she'd ever seen and if it was possible she would have flushed an even brighter shade of red. He gently closed the small distance between them and she felt as though she'd forgotten how to breathe. The new, buzzing sensation came flooding back to her skin and she could feel their biotics simmering excitedly in the places where their legs had made contact. His breath filled the air between them as he opened his mouth to speak and she savoured the inviting smell.

"Well, can I show you how?" his husky voice was barely a whisper but it managed to send all the nerve endings in her body into a wild frenzy. She answered him with her eyes, lifting them to meet the caramel pools now so close she could almost count the eyelashes surrounding them. His hand was so gentle when he reached up to touch her face, as if he was handling the most delicate glass. She leaned into his touch, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth and he slid his thumb lightly over her cheek. Then, gradually, he closed the small space between them with his lips, pressing them delicately against hers. The connection sent a thrill coursing through her body and she returned the gentle pressure gladly.

Jane's senses were filled with him as their lips moved in a supple dance. He tasted wonderfully sweet from their breakfast and there was something else that was so distinctive to him, like the smell of his skin intensified. Her fingers found their way to his lustrous hair and placed tender pressure on the back of his head, pulling him in to her. She gasped when his tongue glided hotly across her lower lip, pleading entrance which she granted enthusiastically.

They stayed wrapped in a hazy world of sensual delight until Jane had to break away for air and sanity. She breathed heavily as the world around her came spinning back into view and she felt her cheeks stretching into an unreserved grin. Never in her life had she ever imagined anything could feel this wonderful, or that she would ever find someone to share it with.

"Better?" Kaidan returned her smile with his own and his caramel eyes were filled with so much life she thought they might actually glisten in the afternoon sun. The blush returned to her cheeks when she remembered her failed attempt at kissing him from earlier.

"Just a little…but I don't know, a bit of head butting every now and then…" she smirked cheekily trying to brush away her own embarrassment with humour and he laughed rubbing the spot on his forehead with an exaggerated wince.

"So, Miss Shepard," he suddenly tightened his warm grip around her waist and pulled her into his lap so they were properly face to face "what kind of situation do we have here?" His voice was gentle, but serious and she thought she could hear a trace of worry mingled in the sound.

Part of her wanted to run away from the question in startled fear but luckily it was the new and emboldened part that placed a kiss on his cheek and thought seriously about her answer. Running in to something unknown regarding emotions wasn't something she would usually do but one look at the kind expression on his enchanting features told her immediately that she would risk any manner of unknown things for him.

"Well Mr Alenko, I think I'm in trouble" she sighed, scrunching her mouth into an undecided pout, "because now I have you here, I'm not sure I want to let you go"

He leaned closer and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, her chocolate mess of hair falling in the way, and when he pulled back she saw seriousness in his eyes that she wasn't expecting.

"I'm not going anywhere"

* * *

"A penguin!"

"A cruiser! Wait…a penguin? Jane, seriously?"

"Well it could be!"

Olivia Alenko quietly nursed a steaming cup of tea as she watched the simple scene before her. To an outsider it would have looked like any regular family enjoying each other's company but to Olivia it was something that would have been impossible a month ago. Her husband was standing by the fireplace waving his arms around drunkenly and looking as though he might turn purple with the amount of effort he was putting into his performance. In front of him, two animated teenagers bounced on the edge of the couch shouting out wild guesses and enjoying their last night of freedom before they flew out to BAaT.

The small crowd let out a cheer when someone finally guessed the answer and Kaidan took up the stage by the fire. It was the first time in years that the two most beloved men in her life had been in the same room without an argument. It was a moment where she heard her son's laughter, loud and genuine, something that had been long forgotten.

All these precious things had been made possible by the small, loving girl sat next to her husband. A broken orphan who had managed to soothe profound wounds with her simple kindness, without even realising she had done so. The gentle mother couldn't help but see the ghost of her own daughter in the laugh lines of the girl before her. Yet, instead of the familiar pangs of grief that always came when she picture Lily's face, she felt a small grain of hope nestle itself in her heart. Eli and Kaidan were safe and well, and though the loss of a child could never be fully healed, there was promise in the happiness that Jane had brought to their home.

A smile lit her emerald eyes as she walked toward her family and in that moment, Olivia knew that Jane Shepard would go on to do amazing things with her life.


	11. Reality Check

_**AN:** Hey guys, sorry about the wait for this update (lolrhyme), life has been pretty crazy and I've only just had a chance to breathe, so here's a big meaty chapter for you! Only just wrote it so haven't beta checked yet, sorry about any mistakes._

* * *

**Reality Check**

"Sooooo…"

The drawn out sound interrupted Kaidan's unpacking and he turned his head slightly as he hung up another piece of clothing in the small wardrobe. His burly roommate and best friend barely concealed a smirk as he leant against the far wall of their room, anticipating entertainment.

"…how was your holiday?" Tommy raised his eyebrows with an expectant stare, implying that his question was not as innocent as it seemed.

Kaidan feigned innocence in a hopeless attempt at throwing his friend off the trail, "Yeah it was good, just the usual, you know? How was yours?"

The beefy Scotsman landed a playful thump on his roommate's shoulder and chuckled, "Ooh Kaidan, you're not getting off that easy"

"I have no idea what you're talking about" he shook his head but felt a smug smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Come off it! You're trying to tell me that you spent two whole weeks with that gorgeous lass and nothing happened" his friend scoffed with a disbelieving shake of the head.

"Tommy, we see her every day"

"Aye and brain camp is such a wonderful place for romance to blossom" sarcasm oozed off his already thickly accented voice and Kaidan just rolled his eyes.

"What makes you think anything would happen between me and Jane?"

"Kaidan, you haven't been able to take your eyes off her since she arrived 3 months ago, and she spends most of her time glancing at you, talking about you, or thinking about you" Tommy replied pointedly, obviously unimpressed by Kaidan's feeble attempts at faking ignorance.

"She talks about me?" he knew he'd already lost this argument and was too curious about the last comment to bother keeping up pretences.

His friend just let out a hearty chuckle and rolled his eyes, 'I knew it' written all over his freckled features. "Aye, almost soon as look at you, I gave up any hope of winning her affection after a few weeks, stubborn lass" he said fondly and Kaidan thought he saw a flash of hurt in those green eyes, something uncharacteristic of his friend. He felt a little stab of guilt and suddenly wished they weren't having this conversation.

"Hey, I'm sorry man, I didn't…" he quietly offered a meagre apology but it was quickly waved away and replaced with an amiable slap on the back.

"No worries Canada, just take good care of her alright? Or I might just switch my irresistible charm back on"

After a few more awkward comments and uncomfortable silences the two friends soon fell into their usual effortless conversation. Kaidan felt a little guilty at the realisation that his best friend might have feelings for Jane in _that_ way. For all the banter and flirting he hadn't thought there was anything genuine on Tommy's side, but apparently he'd been wrong. However, pushing that and the general gloom of being back at Jump Zero to one side, he was almost giddy with happiness. Somehow, in all the darkness and hardship, he'd found this fragment of light that kept growing inside his heart. He knew it would be difficult now they were back on Gagarin Station, but it didn't change the fact that she was amazing, and for some unbelievable reason she felt the same way about him.

However, like most flames in the face of impenetrable darkness, the spirit of friendship and love grew dim in the following weeks. They all thought the horrors of brain camp had come and gone, but the reality was that they were only just beginning.

Vyrnnus and the BAaT staff pushed the students further than they ever had before, claiming that progress had been 'too slow' and that their research demanded new subject matter. Not to mention the sudden and hushed disappearances of children with L2 implants.

Kaidan, like all the students, was constantly on edge. No one slept well anymore, everyone was too tired to make jokes or play cards and they all shared the latest addition of dark circles and gaunt cheeks to their faces. They all clung to each other in a desperate attempt at finding some kind of peace, but the buoyant and merry atmosphere of young friendship was all but diminished.

A shivering Jane clung to his side as he picked at the food in front of him. The cafeteria that was usually alive with the hum of chatter was now coated in a thick layer of stifling silence. All the students ached from their latest session of Physical and the girl at Kaidan's side had just endured another agonising experiment at the hands of the ruthless Conatix scientists. He stroked her back gently and tried to subdue the internal haze of anger that clouded his vision. Lashing out in a fit of fury wouldn't help any of them right now but he couldn't help wanting to when he felt so helpless. They were playthings at the mercy of a cruel organisation, they all knew it, but there was nothing they could do.

A few student had tried to tell their parents what it was like there, Rahna had contacted her father as soon as things had started getting bad, but even the most loving of parents had believed the Conatix staff over their own children. Biotics were dangerous and needed studying in a place where they couldn't harm others; no one suspected that the bioitic students themselves were actually the victims.

The obnoxious sound of the bell brought Kaidan out of his indignant stupor and his group of friends just looked at each other with pained expressions. Ellie clung to Rahna's arm and bit her lip, tears forming in her young eyes.

"I can't" she whispered desperately to thin air, "I can't do it"

Rahna's hazel eyes held all the worry of a mother hen watching its chick circled by a salivating fox. She pressed a soothing arm around the girl's pale shoulders and tried to hide her own fears. Kaidan felt like someone had strummed on some old heartstrings as he watched the kind young woman put the fears of others above her own.

"You can, sweetie, it's alright. It'll be over before you know it" Rahna murmured, staring into space as she said it. Ellie faced training with Vyrnnus next while the older class had History and then Psych, Kaidan knew the fear she was feeling from the memory of his first few sessions after they brought the turian freelancer in. He'd been gripped with terror and exhaustion for weeks but now, after all this time, he didn't fear Vyrnnus anymore, just hated him.

Eventually Rahna managed to persuade Ellie to join her classmates at the hall and then the rest of them headed to their classes. Jane hadn't said a word or eaten a thing through lunch and Kaidan's worry was intensified when she stared blankly through the next two classes. As soon as the lesson ended he led her out into the corridor without waiting for Tommy and Rahna to emerge from the neighbouring classroom. He picked a secluded spot at the end of the corridor before turning her to face him.

"Jane, talk to me" Kaidan pleaded, all the worry pouring itself into his voice. She looked up at him with wide, tired eyes and just shook her head, wincing slightly as if his request had stung her.

"I know it's awful, and you want to forget it but you don't have to suffer alone anymore" he raised a hand to her cheek and panicked a little at the icy temperature of her skin. She leaned her face into his touch and raised a small hand to hold his tightly; as if afraid he would disappear any second.

"I'm sorry, I just…I guess I'm used to bottling it all up" Jane sighed, eyes closing slightly.

He chuckled, "I think I remember someone telling me that bottling things up was bad" she smiled a little at that and the weight on his heart lightened at the sight.

"You don't have to talk about it now, just, please promise you won't suffer in silence" Kaidan hoped that she couldn't hear the desperation in his voice. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly, breathing in the calming fragrance of her hair. He saw the trauma those damned experiments were inflicting on her and was secretly terrified that she wouldn't be able to take much more. She was his grain of hope in this madness, when he lost the will to carry on for himself the sight of her face every day kept him going.

Jane pulled away from the embrace enough to plant a tender kiss on his rough cheek, her voiceless way of saying 'thank you', and he breathed a small sigh of relief. They could get through this together, he was sure of it.

* * *

Wrapped in Kaidan's arms, the world didn't seem so bad, the sting of fire in her veins died away, and Jane could almost forget the pain of earlier that day. This was new to her, having someone to confide in and find comfort, and she worried that Kaidan thought she didn't trust him. It was so far from that, he was full of hope and kindness and she didn't want to darken those wonderful features with the shadows from her life.

Jane leaned away from his shoulders and pressed her lips to his cheek, the stubble there lightly scratching against her skin. She hoped he could see how much she trusted him, how much she needed him.

They were sharply brought out of their reverie by a distant wailing, confusion washing over both their faces as they sped towards the sound. As they jogged through the doors of the training hall they were suddenly faced with a growing crowd of students, their whispers turning into hisses as they echoed off the high walls. Jane could see a flash of red hair above the crowd and dragged Kaidan forwards to where Tommy was, anxiety surging through her body like acid. The sound of howling intensified as they broke through the front lines of the crowd. It wasn't the sight of Rahna sobbing on her knees that froze Jane in her tracks though, or the pale expression of horror on Tommy's face, it was the lifeless figure on the floor before her.

Blonde curls fanned out in a pool of blood around Ellie's head like a gruesome halo. Her tiny face was so calm and if it wasn't for the dull glaze coating those wide green eyes Jane could have believed she was sleeping. It felt like all the blood in her body had congealed into a ball at the pit of her stomach, this wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening.

Before anyone had time to react they were surrounded by a swarm of Conatix staff, shoving them towards the door. In all the confusion Jane could see whips of dark energy throwing security guards off their feet, she caught a glimpse of a terrifying biotic that she realised was Rahna before being shoved through the door by an agitated teacher. Some of the students closest to the hall were screaming, she couldn't see Kaidan or Tommy anymore and her body was bruised from the elbows of the students and staff closest to her. Jane refused to let the panic take hold of her and knew it was pointless resisting a stampeding herd of this size. She ended up back in the dorms and was promptly shoved into her room by one of the security guards, the light above the door handle switching from green to red, indicating that she'd been locked in.

Hours passed and Jane sat curled up on her bed trying to ignore the grief and panic that rolled against her mind in waves. It hadn't happened. Any minute now Ellie would bound in the room and kiss all the pictures of her horses before chattering on about her day. She would hear the faint humming from the other side of the room as they tried to sleep; Ellie's sweet voice had always soothed her when she was plagued with nightmares.

It hadn't happened.

She glanced at the door, the light above the handle glared at her with its red eye, reminding her of how trapped she felt.

But it had happened. She'd seen the fragile limbs splayed out in unnatural positions, the pool of thick, dark liquid colouring those pretty white curls red. A sob broke through Jane's defences and there was no stopping the impending onslaught. Tears came flooding down her cheeks and she buried her face in the pillow, her body shaking violently with each howl from her snot-covered lips. As she wailed the broken, ragged expressions of grief it felt like all the pain she'd ever hidden away broke to the surface, scraping at her soul with clawed fingers. The brutal murder of her parents, the terror of a little girl, the sudden loneliness all orphans suffered, the abuse from adults who should have been caring for the children in their charge and all the different forms of pain she had repressed over the years poured from her until she was completely empty.

The dark room consumed everything and she lay, shivering and hollow, waiting for sleep to bring an end to it all.

A harsh beeping roused Jane from her uneasy slumber and she winced as the door opened, exposing the room to the bright lights outside. A grim faced man poked his head through the frame and curtly informed her that she was allowed to shower and relieve herself if she needed to. She groggily crawled out of the bed and realised she hadn't even changed out of her clothes from the day before. One look at the empty bunk on the other side of the small room reminded her why and she pressed her full lips into a thin line.

The next two days passed in a similar prison-like fashion, (or at least she guessed it was two days, there wasn't really any way of knowing) until she was told by a member of staff to resume her daily timetable with no explanation as to what had happened.

Jane immediately raced to Kaidan and Tommy's room only to find it empty, her heart fell a little at the sight of the vacant beds but she shook the uneasy feeling off and made her way to the cafeteria, passing groups of restless students on the way. Her stomach rumbled irritably at the smell of food, she'd been tossed a few packets of dried fruit and biscuits over the last few days but not enough to satiate even her small appetite. However, upon realising her friends weren't in there either she ignored the protests of her body and extended her search, anxiety pumping through her drained limbs.

"Where do you think you're going?" A stern voice stopped Jane in her tracks and she turned to see a tall blonde woman in a security uniform glaring at her with a sour expression.

"I was…just looking for some people" she returned the woman's distrustful glare and was determined to have her way.

"Well…" the guard paused, inspecting the name on her uniform, "…Shepard, all students should be attending their classes unless instructed otherwise, and free roaming of the facility is banned"

"Oh yeah, since when?" The teenager retorted, losing patience with the condescending tone of the older woman.

"Since now, you little…" the guard snapped, taking a threatening step toward Jane before checking herself and resuming the professional bearing of before, "Since an unfortunate accident occurred a few days ago, it has been decided that for their safety, students should remain under surveillance at all times"

The hollow feeling in Jane's stomach was suddenly filled with anger and her teeth ground against each other. "Unfortunate accident? You mean the death of Ellie Jones during training, probably at the hands of that turian bastard?" she tried to subdue the electricity of her biotics, flaring now would only buy her a one way ticket to the labs.

"Like I said, it was an unfortunate accident, now you will return to your classes without another word or I will have to detain you Shepard" the woman spat, struggling to regain her composure.

"I'd like to see you try!" her rebellious instinct kicked in and she adopted a defensive stance with a smirk on her face.

It would be an understatement to say that Jane's ego was wounded as she stumbled into a small room, clutching a hand to the lovely swollen lump that used to be her eye. However, when the handsome faces of Tommy and Kaidan greeted her, the pain of embarrassment seemed a little easier to bear.

"Jane! Oh my god what happened to your face?"

"I took on a security guard and lost" she winced as Tommy slapped her on the back, praising her bravado in between snorts of laughter. Kaidan just examined her bruises with gentle fingers, apologising whenever she grimaced.

"So what happened? Why are you guys in here? Where's Rahna?" she blurted, pushing aside the remaining emotions of grief and instead choosing to focus on everything like it was a puzzle to be solved.

"Slow down lass, we don't know the half of it" Tommy took up his previous seat in the corner, frowning as he spoke, "All I remember is a massive panic. Rahna…well, I've never seen her like that before, she just exploded with biotics. There were guards trying to pin her down but they couldn't get close until she eventually collapsed from a lack of energy. We tried to get near her but ended up being dragged off and thrown in here for god knows how long"

Jane look in their ragged appearances and realised they'd been stuck in here without a bed or clean clothes for as long as she was in her room. The same rage from before boiled to the forefront of her mind and she had to stop her biotics from flaring.

"I just can't believe this is happening" Kaidan ran a hand through his dishevelled hair and slumped into the chair opposite Tommy. "Ellie is…" he sighed, unable to finish that sentence, a dark look passed over all their faces, "and who knows what's happened to Rahna"

"Probably vanished mysteriously like all those other L2s" Jane spat sombrely, too angry to register the hurt on Kaidan's face at her use of the phrase 'those L2s'. She paced back and forth agitated and they fell into an uncomfortable silence.

A few hours passed before they were dragged to their feet by another security guard.

"Samson, Alenko, Shepard, you're allowed out on the condition that you go straight to training in the hall and don't cause any more trouble" the dour man barked before all but throwing them into the corridor. Jane's anger gave way to fear when she realised her companions had hardly slept or eaten for at least 48 hours and were now expected to face the cruel judgement of Vyrnnus. She grimly realised this was probably Conatix's way of punishing them and made herself a silent promise to take most of the heat in the hell that was to come.

When she saw the almost gleeful expression on the alien's brittle face she wished with all her heart that they could be anywhere but here, in this room of impending torture.

* * *

**_AN: _**_Waaa! Sorry about the feels/angst, but I'm only fleshing out what BioWare said with my imagination! From what Kaidan said in the games, brain camp was pretty grim, so I'm trying to convey that in the writing but don't worry it won't last forever...hopefully..._

_Also, massive love for the Mass Effect Emotional Suite for inspiring a lot of this chapter_


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